The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/08/09
I love the dialect of the story's narrator--very well done!

The situation seemed a teensy bit contrived, and actually quite tragic, which didn't really match the light-hearted tone of the story-teller.

Great title, and great story set-up. Lots of creativity here.
10/11/09
The dialect does create some difficulty in reading the story, but makes it more authentic. The way the story began left me wanting to know more about the "rubbing" that was going on. I've never known what that is about. Perhaps that part could be brought out in the sequel.