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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Empty Nester/Retirement (from work) (09/10/09)

TITLE: From the Outbox of Ristunous
By Leah Nichols


The following recovered from email outbox of Ristunous, Director of Middle-Aged Adults:


Date: 12 September
Subject: Recent change in lifestyle not consistent with current program


You've been working very hard lately. I can see that. I am concerned, though, by your lack of reasonable contemplation regarding the diet of your subject, Anna Reynolds. As you know, she has recently purchased a book promoting the vegan lifestyle. Having sent her children into the world (who are currently wreaking havoc among our troops), she now has within her budget the ability to purchase more organic and natural foods, which led to this new interest.

I understand you may be trying to promote the over-emphasis on a healthy lifestyle which may lead to an obsession, to dim her connection with the Enemy. This approach might work in some cases; however, it does not follow our previously outlined plan. Remember, you need to focus on the line, “You deserve....” Insert her favorite foods, especially the ones with high fat content. Remind her of her loneliness – frequently – now that the kids have moved out. Mention often that she has no purpose anymore.

May I remind you of Cunkpen's difficult task of bringing the distraction of a beautiful young office secretary into the path of Mr. Reynolds. Without your cooperation in the encouragement of Mrs. Reynolds to expand her waistline, his work will mean nothing. The current program focuses on the divorce of this marriage secondary to a lurid affair, which will bring down many in the Enemy's camp and allow us an opening in the lives of their children.

Please redirect your efforts into following our well-designed program, which has proven quite effective in the past. Find a way to hide the vegan book, and put some cookies out on the counter.

Director, Middle-Aged Adults, Section K


Date: 13 September
Subject: Recent interest not consistent with previously designated task


Today I have observed your subject, Phil McFarley, discussing ideas with his wife regarding the possibility of foster care. I am gravely alarmed at this recent interest, as your task had been clearly defined to you at the beginning of this assignment. Having sent their children out as adults, this couple had a large retirement account set aside to live very comfortably for their remaining years. Your specific task focuses on encouraging them to spend it on themselves alone, aside from completely spoiling a few grandchildren.

The flyers on the coffee table regarding the Alaskan cruise and the Country Club have now fallen to the floor, replaced by pleas from that ridiculous Christian foster care agency. Mrs. McFarley continues to seek information about the option of foster care in their home, and now Mr. McFarley has begun to discuss the logistics of such a change.

As mentioned before in your interview, this couple has already created a large impuissance in our actions over the past decade, having raised children who follow the Enemy without wavering. If they were to foster or worse – adopt other children, our troops will suffer great loss in the war.

I depend on your cooperation in this matter. Remember what happened to Wormwood. This couple must not be allowed to follow through on this course of action. Suggest to Mr. McFarley that his aging body cannot handle the rigors of running after toddlers. Remind him of their plans to travel around the entire United States for three years. Certainly their retirement account has more than enough for the purchase of a luxury motorhome.

If these tactics do not work, you might attempt to engineer a devastating auto accident which will render one or both of them incapacitated, and drain their savings within a few years. The Enemy watches out for these types of plans, however, and this is hard to accomplish on short notice. Stick to the original design, and if you need more ideas, do not hesitate to contact me.

Director, Middle-Aged Adults, Section K


Date: 13 September
Subject: Training of staff

Executive Sansreb,

I have encountered difficulties in the coordinating of activities among the agents in my section. They seem to have a false sense of security regarding their subjects. I am requesting further educational programs for my agents regarding middle-aged humans and their changing interests after children have grown and moved out. I think you will agree; the Enemy's voice must not be stronger than ours.

Director, Middle-Aged Adults, Section K

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This article has been read 732 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Diana Dart 09/17/09
Well written and edgy, in true "Screwtape" style. Nice job.
Charla Diehl 09/19/09
Great reminder that the Enemy is eager to use changes in our lives to trap us into changing our lives. Creative way to present the topic.
Beth LaBuff 09/21/09
Very creative. I was intrigued by the names.. (wish I could hear them pronounced) :) This serves as both a warning and a motivation. Great work!
Mariane Holbrook 09/21/09
You give new depth and definition to the word "creative". Big time Kudos to you for this one!
Betty Castleberry09/22/09
Very creative. A good reminder of what is happening "behind the scenes", so to speak, as well. Nicely done.
Patricia Turner09/22/09
Great entry Leah - I enjoyed the voice of the piece and the reminder too.
Sarah Elisabeth 09/22/09
I. Loved. It. :-D

Very creative take on the topic! Great job!
Chely Roach09/22/09
I tend to get the hebe-gebees (sp?) when I contemplate how the real enemy plots to destroy us...and you successfully gave me a few goosebumps. Great writing!
c clemons09/23/09
Very creative and the topic was used throughout.
Shilo Goodson09/23/09
I enjoyed your piece. I am glad that there are people who are involved in good things after retirement. Thank goodness for the people the enemy is fighting.
Joshua Janoski09/28/09
C.S. Lewis would be proud of this. You did the style of writing and the topic proud. Great work. :)