The Official Writing Challenge
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09/17/09
So glad the husband got romantic all of a sudden. Was hoping the woman wouldn't find the old boyfriend on FB.
09/19/09
What a fantastic entry. I loved the slushy dream sequence and the contrast it made with the down to earth reality of a tired marriage. The Internet temptation was agonisingly realistic and the playfulness in the conclusion was spot on. Loved it.
09/19/09
So glad you chose to keep your characters together. Retirement takes getting used to for most of us--and like all the phases of marriage, it must be worked on and worked through TOGETHER.
09/19/09
I loved this, your MC is so real - and the ending is delicious!
09/19/09
Oh my goodness! This article is so much like the life I'm lived 8 years ago. The wife should leave him and never look back. His sudden romantic gestures are nothing more than a ploy to postpone the inevitable. Just from reading this, I can almost profile the poor excuse of a husband. He's lazy, verbally and physically abusive, and he does something that he thinks is "good" once in a great while to make up for his shortcomings as a husband. I found my first love and we are celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary in two weeks. The person you speak of in your article needs to stop punishing herself and move on to a better life where she's not supporting someone that obviously doesn't care about her or her feelings. He's all about himself and nothing else. He's a loser, he's evil, and the quicker she rids herself of him, the better. Take it from someone that has been there and done that!
09/19/09
You did a great job of summarizing what so many marriages go through when the house is "empty." (And you did it all in 750 words!) So glad your MC made the choice to work on her marriage, and that you let the husband have a bit of a clue.
I enjoyed everything about the story: characters are realistic, right touch of humor, suspense, romance, and the ending it perfect!
09/21/09
Cheers for happy endings! Loved the internal dialogue and of course, the "chat box' ending.
09/21/09
I had to laugh at the McDonald's napkins when the tissue ran out. :) Your ending made me smile. I like this.
09/21/09
Love the little Shakespeare (I think?) quatrain setting the mood early in the piece, and the contrast with modern-day "chat" at the end. A great ending without being platitudinious (is that a word?)
09/21/09
Come on. you have to love a man who leaves McDonald's napkins for toilet paper and a note.
Good entry.

Mona
09/22/09
It takes work to obey God when it's tough....I pray that she continues to fight for her marriage. A very real picture of modern society - very poignant piece!
09/22/09
It takes work to obey God when it's tough....I pray that she continues to fight for her marriage. A very real picture of modern society - very poignant piece!
Not much to say that hasn't already been said, except maybe that I personally enjoyed reading this.

Love your MC's honest emotions. Well done.
You did a great job with this "rescued from temptation" story. The way you showed how marriage becomes routine and mundane (running out of TP and substituting McDonalds napkins) was priceless.
Superbly written, and I love to see restoration in a marriage. As others have commented, the McDonald's napkins made me laugh. Heck, he could have left her with sand paper, so he's not all bad :) Well done!
Very realistic! I am in a very happy marriage, but found myself looking for someone from my past the other day, I am ashamed to say. I love the ending - and your story is NOT fluff. I love that the marriage was restored and the playfulness at the end. Great job.
09/22/09
I think Martin is a romantic at heart, but is just beginning to discover it. Thankfully, he managed it at just the right moment. Loved the "chat"... a perfect ending! Well done!
I loved this! You're such a good writer you don't need me to tell you but this is another great example of the extraordinary work you put out. I'm glad you saved the marriage. I've been married so long I've run out of digits but it's one of the best arrangements God ever dreamed up. Great entry! If I were a judge this week, I know where I'd put my top marks.
Kudos!
09/23/09
I was a little worried about what she was going to do. I was worried that she might regret it. Great ending, though. I hope things work out for them.