The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
09/18/09
Good banter between the two, could have used a little more of, he said, she said, - would have been easier to follow.
Great interaction between the two. From the conversation, I could feel the husband's apprehension.
09/22/09
You started with one of my favorite things, "coffee"... and this became an automatic winner in my book. :) I enjoyed the laid-back conversations of this couple.. I definitely could relate! :) Love this!
Right on topic. Nice use of conversation between husband and wife. Well done!
09/23/09
Very much on topic. And I loved the dialogue, easy going and natural, with just the right amount of emotion and hints. If I had to pick on anything (do I have to??? LOL), I'd say the opening paragraph had a lot of adjectives and I was a little bogged down reading it (but it did make me want to grab a coffee and some sweet nibblies!) Great entry though with a strong story.
09/23/09
Natural flow of conversation. I felt as if I were sitting on the couch with them and listening! Very good job and yes, you nailed the topic!
~Cathy~
09/25/09
Ditto on the kudos...the conversation had a very easy, intimate feel to it... and it was very much on topic.
09/26/09
S, I loved it, too, especially the way it flowed, just like it should. Somewhere along the line you must have read "The Foundation of Novel Writing." If you're not familiar with the manual, ask Rachel Burkum.