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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Empty Nester/Retirement (from work) (09/10/09)

TITLE: Freedom…?
By Anita van der Elst
09/16/09


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Congrats to the last of my kiddos
Who now occupies a room in a dorm.
I’m finding it most interesting
To discover my new norm.

Yay, for Saturday morning!
I can sleep ‘til twelve or one!
I can have breakfast whenever I feel like it!
And sip my coffee ‘til I’m done.

Woohoo, what a grand choice of cereals:
Trix, Lucky Charms, Cap’n Crunch;
A full gallon of milk in the icebox
And plenty of peanut butter to munch!

Hurrah, my car goes the distance
Ten gallons of gas lasts a week!
Burger joints I now glide past freely
Without the rise of one shriek.

Yippee, it’s my choice of the movies
I rent at the Blockbuster store.
The clerk looks at me funny.
I admit, it’s Veggie Tales I adore.

Wow, hardly enough dirty laundry
To warrant running a load.
But I’ve only one week’s worth of undies,
So I’d better get in that mode.

Wake up, I hear the kids, darling,
Was that their key in the lock?
Hush and go back to sleep, dear.
You can’t turn back the clock.

Oops, looks like the phone’s out of order,
No little red light doing its chore.
Ah, it’s only that no one’s left messages,
‘Cause…there’s…no one…to leave messages for.


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This article has been read 431 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Robyn Burke09/17/09
Awwww, this was bittersweet. Very creative.
Eileen Knowles09/17/09
Really liked this...kept my attention throughout!
Brian Haugrud09/17/09
I like story poems. Nice story! You must get some special grace being past the beginners. This is the kind of writing I do and have taken a lot of flack for not having the same syllable count consistently throughout the poem. Even so, your story and rhyming were GREAT!
c clemons09/18/09
This one started out good and then ran out of steam right around the sixth stanza, but overall good.
TJ Nickel09/21/09
The "I adore" statement about kids movies was great. Nice pace and a revealing poem many will relate to.
Lisa Johnson 09/25/09
i liked this very much...especially your references to cereal and movies...you sound a lot like me...lol.
Allen Stark09/26/09
Anita, I loved it. Great humor used to describe what could well be an underlying sadness.
Lisa Keck10/14/09
good job.