Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Empty Nester/Retirement (from work) (09/10/09)

TITLE: Community Retirement Action Plan
By Sheri Gordon
09/16/09


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

MEMORANDUM FOR THE HEADS OF EXECUTIVE DEPARTMENTS AND AGENCIES

SUBJECT: Community Retirement Action Plan

My administration is committed to ensuring equal opportunity for prosperity acquisition for all of our citizens. To help us achieve this goal, early on in my presidency I commissioned an extensive study focusing on the costs and benefits of senior citizens in our society’s workforce.

After reviewing the findings and recommendations which came forth from this study, I am hereby proposing a mandatory retirement plan for all working and non-working senior citizens. My Community Retirement Action Plan—here on out to be referred to as C.R.A.P.—will benefit all citizens of this country. Furthermore, I have appointed a czar of C.R.A.P. to oversee this extremely beneficial and necessary program.

Findings from the aforementioned study suggest that a percentage of people begin to lose some of their cognitive skills before they turn sixty. Lacking crucial critical thinking abilities, these individuals are not able to make rational decisions in their jobs. From doctors to waste management collectors, lives may be unnecessarily put at risk due to the inability—through no fault of their own—of our senior citizens to make discriminate decisions.

Working together, the C.R.A.P. czar and I have developed a plan to ensure public trust, while promoting a safe and healthy lifestyle for all citizens of this country. The proposed plan will be phased in slowly to enable Quality Control to monitor all pieces of C.R.A.P.

My proposed C.R.A.P. will be set forth as follows. At age fifty-five, all citizens, whether working or not, will automatically be enrolled in C.R.A.P. This relinquishes the need for senior citizens to have to worry about filling out forms. Through a voluntary employer program, this administration will have the majority of the workforce already input in our system. (To encourage companies to participate in C.R.A.P., an opt-out fee will be assessed to any business choosing not to provide employee information to the government.) Additionally, we will have already obtained substantial data from those citizens who have chosen not to work, but have opted instead to take advantage of the many government programs that provide for their needs.

Once seniors are officially in C.R.A.P., the Department of C.R.A.P., headed by the C.R.A.P. czar, will evaluate each individual based on prior contribution to society, social status, medical conditions, and financial records. Each senior citizen will then be assigned to a Living Center. These Living Centers are currently being built by government employees, with a proposed completion date of four years—corresponding with the start of this administration’s second term, thus allowing adequate time to phase in the entire project.

All personal assets belonging to senior citizens will be managed and redistributed by the Department of C.R.A.P. Every senior citizen in this country will be living in fully-funded, government controlled housing, with all meals, medical, and recreational activities included. The aforementioned appropriated funds will be used to help pay for these programs, as well as providing an equally distributed monthly stipend for clothes and personal items.

It is my belief that by removing all senior citizens from the workforce, we can reduce or eliminate the risk of poor choices being made in the work environment. Additionally, many of our seniors have worked very hard all their lives, and it’s time for their country to give back to them. I am confident that C.R.A.P. is what our seniors and this country need.

Office of The President


MEMORANDUM FOR THE HEADS OF EXECUTIVE DEPARTMENTS AND AGENCIES

SUBJECT: C.R.A.P. Number Two

As a follow-up to the previous Community Retirement Action Plan memorandum, I would like to clarify one concern. Elected officials, as well as appointees of this administration, are exempt from C.R.A.P. While participation in C.R.A.P. is mandatory for all citizens of this country, elected officials and presidential appointees will continue to operate under their current retirement program. C.R.A.P. is designed for the Average Joe who may not be able to make the best decisions for him/herself. Elected officials and appointees have proven themselves to be more than capable of making sound decisions, and will continue to be employed in their current position until they expire or make their own choice to retire.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 547 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Betty Castleberry09/17/09
Scary...very scary...
Loren T. Lowery09/18/09
In a way this reminds me of Robert Herrick's poem: "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying." Which may of course mean, we should eat desert first: ). However and more seriously, the tone and intent of this article is ominous and the fact it shadows the philosophy today's "enlightened" leaders is concerning. The closing paragraph regarding entitlement could not be more spot on; and yet there are those who would "lick the hand raised to shed their blood." Shamefully duped, irresponsibly unconcerned. An expertly written, thought-provoking satire.
Loren T. Lowery09/18/09
Oops, of course I meant eat dessert first. Eating desert, it seems, comes later. (Wish there were an edit button for comments : )
Charla Diehl 09/18/09
This is a satire I'm not laughing at--it's raw honesty is too scary. . . and I continue to pray. Your acronym for this piece was perfect!
Allen Stark09/18/09
I cut and pasted the C.R.A.P. piece and have shared it with the many people who have forwarded so many pieces concerning the present administration. I have no doubt they will thoroughly enjoy it. No, this isn't "scary." Man may think he's in control, but those of us who write for FaithWriters know better, right?
Chely Roach09/19/09
Wow, this was so clever! The acronym was so perfectly placed throughout the piece, and it made me laugh out loud every time. This could be a SNL skit, if SNL wasn't bent so far in the other direction; heck, they would endorse this kind of C.R.A.P.! Loved, loved, loved your witty satire.;)
Beth LaBuff 09/19/09
You've been reading the health care reform bill... What page was this on? :) VERY clever work here!
Diana Dart 09/21/09
Wonderfully sharp, albeit a bit painful. Especially liked the addition on the end!
Joy Faire Stewart09/21/09
This is spot-on of the rhetoric being heard today...well written and very creative.
c clemons09/23/09
Amusing but hopefully this will never come to pass. You know "whatever a man thinketh"...
Marita Thelander 09/24/09
I saw the acronym as soon as I read the title. and the ending...? C.R.A.P. number two...is full of it.

Congrats!!!
Holly Westefeld09/24/09
Sheri, this was a fabulous satire, albeit very close to home. Congratulations!
Carol Slider 09/24/09
Good for you!! I love writing political satire, but I've never had the courage to write one for the challenge. This is exceptional. It would be hilarious, if it didn't sound so eerily POSSIBLE. Congratulations!!
Beth LaBuff 09/24/09
I wondered who wrote this incredible piece. :) Congrats, Sheri! :)
Chely Roach09/24/09
Congratulations, sweet woman! I am so glad this placed...Hugs!