The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 746 times
Member Comments
I could feel Alyssa's mixed emotions as she was going off to college in the first part of this story. Obviously the second part was a year or so later--at least that's what I'm guessing you're saying.

Red ink: Maybe just a tad more info would make the ending less fuzzy for people like me who need the details. I also found this focusing more on the daughter than on the topic of empty nesters. However, I did enjoy the read.
I liked the mother/daughter relationship. It was very tender but I was confused at the ending, too. I was also distracted by all the times the word mother was used. It's a very good story. Just needs to be tightened up a bit. I really want to understand the ending.
I thought this was very well written. I felt the emotion that both mother and daughter experienced. I also could tell this goodbye was not a child going to college or moving out but this goodbye went far beyond that. The title revealed that to readers so not really surprising. Very well done.
Not sure if I'm right, but I thought Alyssa kept the mother's memory alive, in that house. Now that she was leaving, she would also have to leave the memory. I like this story.
I don't think there's any question about her mother's dying some years before. It was spelled out very well in the last few sentences. I like your style of writing and I think this is a particularly good entry. Kudos!
A tender, poignant story. I could literally see the scene at the end.

One thing I found a bit distracting was the name of your MC repeated frequently. I'm wondering if you could have substituted "young lady" or something similar, just to break it up a little bit?

It didn't detract from the essence of this lovely piece, though. Well done.
Your beautiful story put a lump in my throat.
An emotional goodbye that takes an eerie turn. Creative story! The necklace twist is the key that leaves me wondering - hmmm. VERY good!