The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/17/09
You gave us an interesting peek into the mind of your MC. Attention to small details made visualizing the story easy to do. I could clearly see him trying to dry our his newspaper, scrutinize the paperweight, resent not being able to order his own dinner. I like how at the end you bring us back to his paper. It was very 'real'.
09/24/09
I liked the MC...as for his family...sometimes you can't see the forrest for the trees. Glad his newspaper dries out enough to read.
09/25/09
Your descriptions are wonderful... the coffee soaking into the paper like syrup into pancakes. Your ending was great.. not quite ready for retirement. This made me smile. :)