The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/17/09

You did a nice job unfolding the tender thoughts of the MC in your story.
One small 'trip up' for me was the introduction of another voice? When you use the phrase "I guess". suddenly it caused a shift in POV for me.
still a sweet story and one I am sure a lot of moms can related to.
09/17/09
I liked the direction your story took. I especially liked the phrase, "joy was found in the journey." As long as there is joy, there will be more to come.
09/20/09
A little repetitious with "lisa smiled" Wished the MC would have taken a lesson from the momma bird, you nuture them then let them go. It is the cycle of life. Hence the subject "empty nest". Glad she finally got it at the end.
09/21/09
I liked that your MC was finally going to pursue the dreams she had put on hold while having her family. Just because the nest is empty does not mean life has to stop...or be boring.
09/22/09
This was a story that drew me in quickly. Now, I just want to know how well Lisa's creative writing class goes.
09/23/09
I enjoyed the look through Lisa's eyes and especially the turn your ending took. :)
I like this. Good job of balancing the sadness and excitement of an empty nest.