The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 680 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Very touching story with excellent message reminding we don't have to dazzle. I love the sensitivity of the child.
09/13/09
I thought this was SUPERB. The voice was just perfect. Incredible job! Enjoyed this so much from the title to last word.
09/13/09
What a lovely gentle reminder that we don't see the world from the same perspective as our children. Their innocence is to be cherished while it lasts...
Wonderful piece!
09/13/09
Love this! You really occupied the tender spirit of this sweet little fellow.

The only thing I wondered about the the writing in present tense, which seemed inconsistent with the child's voice. Would it seem more realistic in past tense? Would make an interesting experiment.

I just wanted to hug this little guy...so precious!
09/13/09
Love the innocent voice, so perfect. His personality comes alive when he sees and hears the birds - everything else is ho-hum to him. We can learn many important lessons from children.
This made me wonder how often I really take a look at things from a child's point of view. My guess is probably never. Thinking I should start being a little more observant. Thanks for helping me learn something!
09/13/09
“Where did he learn that?” Loved this line! Monkey see, monkey do.

So innocent and the water ride reminded me of a poor toddler who rode a river raft ride with his parents. By the end of the ride, he was shaking and saying "done? done?"
I loved the voice of the MC. I also love seeing life through the eyes of a child. Well written, nicely done.
09/14/09
It took me a little while to get into this but by halfway through I was well and truly hooked. I loved the ever growing gap between the child and his parents. Silly grown-ups!
Good reminder of a child's fresh perspective on the world.
Love this. Just loved it. We adults really don't get it sometimes. Thanks for the reminder:)