The Official Writing Challenge
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So true-to-life, I was there in the pew with Danny and Bobby. Loved Dad's reaction at the end.
09/13/09
"I knew my funeral was next." What a classic line. Loved your MC, especially his smugness when he confirmed that he got the BB's out of his brother's box, lol. Great story with a great title and a perfect ending. :)
09/13/09
My entry also had not been reviewed before hinting time as well. I think it was that way for most.

Enjoyed this read about little boys and brothers. Such innocence at that age when they really don't know what's going on in life. I remember squealing and waving at my older brother during my grandmother's funeral...at age five.

The entire story flowed very well!
09/14/09
I love this! There were three or four times when I thought it would go one direction, but it went another...perfect!
09/14/09
This flows really smoothly and the child's cheekiness comes across loud and clear.
I appreciate that this is somewhat subjective, but I felt the voice was a little too mature for a seven-year-old.
In many ways I could picture my self as Bobby: restless, inquisitive, mischievous and finally relieved to live and tell about it the next day. Your writing held my attention the entire way through and I couldn't help but think there is hidden in your words, possibly between the folk in the pews a special and secreted message.
I really liked this. I was taken back to my childhood, when I decided to launch a paper airplane after the final "amen" at church. My dad, the pastor, wasn't too thrilled. Not only was it inappropriate behavior, but I hit the guest speaker. Nicely written!
09/14/09
This reminded me of an embarrassing moment my youngest daughter caused once during a service. Funny now, but not then. I felt the dialog between the brothers was truly believable and smiled when Bobby thought his funeral was next. Cute and entertaining story woven around a sad event.
Excellent character development, and such a fun story. Making a funeral story humorous without seeming callous could be tricky, but you pulled it off! I love it that the father winked and the pastor chuckled.
09/16/09
I certainly can't relate to this - I was the BIG sister:) Little brothers and sisters were truly annoying. Loved this story!
09/16/09
And people wonder why we love little boys! I'm glad I had two and mine would have rolled BBs down to the front of the church accidentally, too, only they would have crawled under every pew until they retrieved them all! hehe You're such a great story teller, Betty, that I'd love to see all these put in a best-selling book and illustrated so cute. I love your humor and so does everyone else. I'm so glad we're friends. Your work always makes me laugh or blesses me, sometimes both at the same time. Kudos!
09/16/09
Oh my! Boys can be fun--and I love these two. Love the dad's reaction, too. That's my kind of dad.