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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Autumn/Fall (08/27/09)

TITLE: Her Fall
By nicole wian


Fall. She used to love this time of year. But now, as she watched the colored, crisp leaves spiral down from the oak tree outside her window, she couldn't remember why. Everything now was veiled by the cloud of sadness that had descended on her life. And so now, instead of wanting to put a sweater on, run outside and inhale that new cooler air, she just wanted to hibernate early. That's what fall represented to her now. It was a sign to retreat, hibernate. The end of something beautiful. The beginning of winter, the misery and the deadness. For the beauty of those leaves would soon be raked away and burned. And then there would be the bareness which was so unbearably long. She couldn't see that spring would ever come again to her life. If she could just fall asleep now and not wake up. Because how could she ever hope or even want to recover from her husband's early death? How could she enjoy anything ever again?

Yes, she knew now that her life would be a permanent winter. And this fall would be her fall. She would end it now, to not live in the cold. Before her heart turned to ice, which it was well on it's way to doing. “There are seasons” she'd heard people say. Well, not for her. She was done. She was done with the beauty that grew only to fade. People were foolish to rejoice in Autumn. Didn't they know what it meant, what was to come?

Fall had always signified something for her. She'd always felt her heart race a little on that first nice day after a hot summer, knowing the holidays were coming. She and Drake had only been married five years, but they had already had their own family traditions for these holidays. They'd looked forward to sharing them with their unborn children but now that would never happen. So why wait through winter for a spring that surely would never arrive? Why spend the holidays alone in torment? She pulled the drapes, blocking the view of that cursed tree with it's brilliant colors and slowly walked into her bathroom. She opened the medicine cabinet and fully aware of where her actions would take her, consumed the entire bottle of pills.

She had no idea where she was when she woke, only that she felt deathly ill. She laid as still as possible for a few moments and then her body would tolerate no more. She retched off the side of the bed. Her eyes tearing from the pain, she slowly realized what had happened.

“Why was she still here?” she screamed silently. And then she closed her eyes to sleep it off, knowing this time with certainty and anger she would eventually awake. Why must God interfere with her life? That's what she wanted to know. Couldn't He leave her alone? He'd allowed her this pain and then wouldn't let her treat it.

The next few days, she came in and out of sleep and when finally she pulled herself from her sweat soaked bed, she found she'd lost the time, not identifying fully with all she'd put her body through. But she could see that it was still fall. She still had a dreaded winter to get through.

But she did make it through. For God interfered again and again in her life, aiding her through the seasons. And though it was a long winter, as she'd predicted, it did eventually come to an end. Spring did arrive, and there came a day when she was able to move forward.

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This article has been read 312 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Anita van der Elst09/05/09
Aaaaah, I felt so sad for the MC. Depression is such a horrible place to be. I'm so glad that she made it thru the winter. If this is a true story I hope she finds a way to connect with other people. Having gone thru depression myself, I know that is vital. The story is well-written.
Allen Stark09/08/09
If you are writing about making it through chemotherapy, and having gone through it with my wife, I believe you may be, you have expressed well some of the thoughts patients, and perhaps their spouses, deal with.I praise God that my wife and I have enjoyed many seasons following her trial with cancer.
Lisa Johnson09/08/09
Your MC was depicted so well. Her despair was palpable. So glad that she made it through her dark time. So thankful that God is faithful to carry us through our hardest times.