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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Autumn/Fall (08/27/09)

TITLE: Fall in the Country
By Pamela Kliewer
09/02/09


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I’m on my way to Amber’s house. Her name reminds me of the leaves I see on the way. Amber is my best friend and today we’re going to make caramel apples. I’m so excited! I’ve never made caramel apples before, but Amber says it’s loads of fun. She told me to bring an old shirt of my daddy’s to wear over my good clothes because we might get kinda messy.

I’m also gonna spend the night and we get to sleep out in the tent! I’ve never slept in a tent before. My family lives in the city and Amber’s lives in the country. They have cows, horses, chickens and everything!

“Are we almost there, Mommy?” I ask jumping up and down as best I can, tied to my seat like I am. I wish I didn’t have to wear a seatbelt and sit in the back but Mommy and Daddy always say it’s for my safety.

“Yes, we’re almost there. Calm down Anika.”

“I can’t I’m too excited! It’ll be so fun to sleep in a tent and Amber says maybe I can milk the cow and that we can build a big pile of leaves to jump in! And she said too, that we might even build a bonfire and roast marshmallows in it once it dies down enough! What’s a bonfire mommy? And do you think I can really milk a cow? Amber said I might get to. She even said I could help her gather eggs!”

Mommy laughed, looking back over her shoulder and giving me a quick wink. “A bonfire is a huge fire – that’s all. And yes I think you can milk a cow.”

“You know what else Amber said? She said I might could ride a horse! But I don’t know if I wanna do that. I’m kinda scared of horses cuz they’re so big and I’m afraid I might fall off! A’course if I landed in a big pile of leaves that might not hurt.”

~~~~~

I’m on my way home now and I can hardly sit still again. I have so much to tell Mommy.

“Mommy it was so much fun! I did get to milk a cow! The teats – that’s what they’re called – were all warm and squishy! Amber could squirt milk right into a cat’s mouth! It was sooo funny! I never had fresh milk before, huh, Mommy? It tasted sooo good! A’course this wasn’t milk right from the cow cuz it has to go through a special process. We drank milk from the fridge that they store in a big jar!

“And Mommy the bonfire was so much fun! It was a big big fire, just like you said and sometimes sparks would fly up in the sky from it. We even had s’mores! I never had those before… the chocolate was so melty and the marshmallow so gooey and sticky. We had chocolate and marshmallow everywhere! We shoulda kept our shirts on from when we made the caramel apples!

“Man, Mommy, that was really a mess! We taked the apples and put them on a ice cream stick and then after the caramel was melted in a big pan on the stove we dipped the apples in the caramel to cover them all the way and then we slowly pulled them out. Caramel dripped off and we put them on wax paper to harden. It was so funny when the caramel would get all stringy and get all over us when we put them on the paper! You shoulda seen it.

“Sleeping in the tent was a blast! We heard crickets and bullfrogs from the creek and one time we even heard an owl! That scared me until Amber told me what it was.

“And I got to ride the horse. It wasn’t so bad as I thought because they had a rope around it’s neck and Amber’s big brother lead me around the pen.”

“You mean the corral?” Mommy asked.

“Yeah, that.”

“So you had a good time?”

“Yes Mommy, haven’t you been listening?

“It was the bestest time I ever had! But sometime we haveta have Amber come to our house so she can see what Fall is like in the city! We can crunch through leaves in the park and go on the swings, and get all cold and then come in and drink hot chocolate. What do you think Mommy?”

“I think that would be just fine.”

“Goody!”


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This article has been read 379 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Seema Bagai 09/04/09
A cute story. Excellent job capturing the narrator's voice. I could hear the child's excitement as I read.
Lisa Johnson 09/08/09
Lovely story about autumn from a chld's POV.
Karie McCaffity09/09/09
The childlike excitement is entertaining. I liked the interaction between her and her Mommy. :)
Betty Castleberry09/09/09
You have your child's voice down perfectly. The conversation is believable. I enjoyed this charming story.
Mona Purvis09/09/09
Nothing like seeing through a child's eyes.

Enjoyed your story.

Mona
Mariane Holbrook09/10/09
What a great piece of writing. You'll place high with this one! Kudos!