The Official Writing Challenge
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I really enjoyed the creativity of this story. I guess mothers and daughters, past, present, and future will not, as a rule, see eye-to-eye. The ending was just right here.
09/04/09
Excellent. A sad commentary on modern life (as I sit here in front of the computer when the sun is shining and it is an absolutely gorgeous day outside.) Well done.
09/04/09
I'm not much for all the modern technology, so I can relate to the mom in the story. Sad that this modern age is robbing our grandchildren of the pleasures God placed here for us--a quiet walk by a babbling brook, smelling the flowers, listening/watching birds--well, you get my point. Interesting read.
09/08/09
I love this!!!!!! Very creative. My mom would love it too. :)
Bittersweet in that this vision could be real for future generations. I like the way you show the strong bond between mother and daughter despite the large gulf that separates them in ideology and technology. I enjoyed this trip into the future very much.
09/09/09
Very different (says me!) I really didn't know what was coming next. But delightfully easy-going with a wonderfully understated conclusion.
I loved the ending. I didn't see that coming. It is very true to life with the mother and daughter seeing things so differently.
Super creative. Very well written. Loved the ending.
Well written and out of the box. It held my attention throughout. I can imagine a time when this could actually happen.
09/09/09
I loved this. The style and the futuristic setting were wonderful.
This is great! Love the ending... sad... but stirring... how often do we go through life not noticing the beauty around us and forgetting what we once enjoyed?
09/09/09
Very well written. Funny I was just telling my mom that someday they would be making replica's of the kind of houses we live in today.
Enjoyed the read!
09/09/09
I want a Mold2U chair instead of a chair that molds itself and won't let go.

Usually, I don't care much for Sci-Fi stories. But, this is so different. Love the mother character; the daughter not so much.

Mona
09/09/09
Oh, there's so much truth here! My little boy plays outside a lot less than I did, and I can only imagine what it will be like for his children and grandchildren. A lovely, unique take on the topic!
What a great piece of writing. You'll place high with this one! Kudos!
09/10/09
Creativity obviously oozes from your pores...can I grow up to be like you??? Loved this story! Congratulations on your second place win, and your EC.
Jan, this is so well done!Congrats on 2nd place hon.:0) Loved this story. I got a kick out of the futuristic thingamabobs and enjoyed how you showed nature through recorded memories. I felt bad for the mom, the way her feelings were dismissed by her daughter but I think I felt even more sorry for the daughter, who was wrapped in modern technology and pushed the past aside and even more sorry for Trista. But you leave the reader with the hope that the grandaughter may get to envision just what nature has to offer, and what her own mommy was like when she was little. I wish the word limit allowed more as I wanted this to continue.:0) Blessings Jan.:0)
09/10/09
Big congrats on your EC, Jan. I usually don't "get" sci-fi, but this is incredible--a future I never want to see, but one that seems oh-so-close. Incredible writing, as always.
09/10/09
I love this! Very well done.
09/10/09
Congratulations, Jan! This story is so moving. Whatever the year's setting, it captured human emotions wonderfully. Just great.
09/10/09
Oh, that last paragraph... sigh. Maybe it's the copper hair that drew me in, but I felt such annoyance and yet pity for Carin. May this NEVER come true, by the way. Incredibly interesting and creative entry.
09/14/09
Congratulations on your Second Place win...I have to admit, this story went WAY over my head. I did something I rarely do; I read the comments before making mine. That helped me clue in a little bit as to what the story was about. Guess I am like the "Mother". I am not up on all the modern technology. I do well to keep up with an ordinary computer--just enough to operate it...Of course, your writing excells; otherwise you wouldn't have placed so high. The fault is not in your writing. It is in my understanding....Well done!...Helen
10/02/09
Hi Jan,

I'm new to Faithwriters. I've spent the last hour reading some of your stories and feel very humbled. You are a great author. I can only hope to write as well as you one day.

This story, too, was well written. Good idea, the vidwall. I wouldn't mind one. :0)

There is one problem with the story and it comes at the very end; you change POV in the last paragraph. I don't know what to suggest to get the result you were trying to achievet.

I look forward to reading more of your work.

10/21/09
A fantastic entry. This is a creative idea and another example of your writing talent. :-)