The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 297 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/29/09
Well written story of hope in the face of possible death, and the LIFE we have in Christ.
09/19/09
Hi Alexia! Thank you very much for your critique, it was definitely helpful and accurate. (I did wonder at first if I should make him a little afraid of death at the start even though he wasn't right before he died. Maybe I'll change that.)*****

Wow, you wrote a good story here. I was a little surprised when I cam across the name Jacob, even though it's a popular name right now. The ending was such a relief and I didn't expect it to turn out that way. But even if it did turn out tragic, you provided some hopeful and comforting thoughts for people who may have gone/are going through something like this. My mom had a baby who died before I was born and I know someone else who recently had a failed pregnancy, so it probably happens more than I think.*****

I don't have much for advice; the article is written quite well. You could put spaces between paragraphs to make it easier to read so everything isn't squished together. And I'm little unsure what to think about the part that says the faith of his parents ensured that he was sanctified. I personally believe that every child that dies before the age of accountability will go to Heaven because they didn't have a choice and understanding of salvation. Maybe I misunderstood you though?*****

Great work and God bless! I hope you'll write more.
09/21/09
Ah, thanks for explaining that. Sorry I misunderstood you. I'm also sorry I replied this way but i didn't know if you had private messenger or not. (Before I had it I kept getting notifications of letters that I couldn't read and it drove me nuts!) I'm still a little unsure about how to portray Stephen, but in the song I gave him a small moment of fear just so others could relate better. God bless.