The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 682 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/20/09
This is a sad story. I am glad the girl was found. I like your descriptions. Nice job.
08/20/09
Good story! It had me drawn in from the start. I like the light of hope at the end, too.
08/20/09
Excellent job1 I felt her desperation and her pain. The story was well done, but I need to know what happens next!
Yes, I agree with Deborah, I want to now what happens next. You have to finish this. It is riveting in parts and the end has me wanting more. Great job, well done.
08/20/09
Loved this. Two extremes of good and evil people. Great descriptions, and effortless dialogue. Great combination for an awesome story.
08/21/09
This grabbed me and still has hold of my need to know what happens next. Liked the pace of this, your characters and the fact that it ended on a good note.
I was captured by your descriptions--pearls and icing, for example. You did a great job of drawing your reader into your mc's feelings.
08/23/09
I liked your use of evocative phrases like: 'and I imagine them becoming part of nature, crystallising, becoming ice fossils.' to underpin her thoughts, feelings and her situation. I think it would take a novel and a lot of inner searching and pain on the part of the writer to finish this gritty story. :-)
08/24/09
Could personally feel her emotional and physical cold, and visualize two very opposite men.
08/24/09
A disturbing story but a good ending. Enjoyed your interesting tale.
08/24/09
Strong story about a miserable family life due to substance abuse and more. She was powerless, but God prevailed. I love the character of her rescuer. Compelling, rich and deep. Not an entry to just breeze through...leaves the reader aching for change.
Mona
I really enjoyed your piece. So many powerful images. I especially liked this line. "Winter may be the season of death...but it is always followed by spring..."
Very nice!
08/24/09
Thank you for the rescue at the end. This was very gripping.