The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/20/09
What a well-written story with an underlying lesson, hidden 'til the end. Thanks for writing.
08/24/09
Great job with the action and suspense, and with keeping Miguel's secret until just the right time.

You slipped out of present tense a few times...a piece like this, with scene changes and a lot of action, might be better in all past tense. Present tense usually works better in moody, 1st person stories that take place in a very limited period of time.

I enjoyed this immensely--great job with the sensory details! Excellent!
08/24/09
A good job of story telling which was an enjoyable read. Thanks.
08/24/09
Lots of suspense. Good material. Kept my attention.
Happy ending.
Mona
08/24/09

Anxiety and panic provoking! All because of a pair of boots! Ah, well...kids will be kids. GRRRRR...