The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/21/09
So sad, and yet such a beautiful ending. This one tore at my heart strings.
08/24/09
Very lyrical, lovely prose.

I think your title gives away the ending...if you take this piece further, consider a different title.

Even though this piece felt very complete, I'd also be quite interested in "the rest of the story". I wanted to know these people! Well done!
Sad and somehow sweet at the same time. A couple of minor things:
as this young—too young—mom bid farewell.

Bid should be bids. Also the 'too young' thing confused me at first. Any age is too young to bury a child. Is it a teen?

I would live to see where this story goes and find out what happed to get them there.
08/24/09
I know how sad it was to bury
my teenage brother on a winter's day. You captured that sadness well. These memories are sad but precious. Colin
08/24/09
Your writing set the somber tone to this solemn piece. Not a place any would choose to go, but one we sometimes must be in.
08/24/09

Poignant story. Thanks for making it come out all right!
Your story is sad but beautiful, constructed well and with a good message.
08/24/09
This is so exquisite in flow and description. "Into the frozen ground would go the shell of one, and the hearts of two." Your writing has a poetic quality. I love the hope in your last paragraph.
08/24/09
What a bittersweet story. You captured their raw pain so well. Good job.
My first born turned seven yesterday, and I can't imagine losing him or any of my children. This tugged at the heart and I felt the pain of this couple. But you also helped me feel their hope at the end. Nicely written.
Poignant and lovely and perfect for this topic.