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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Adulthood (07/30/09)

TITLE: If it's not too much to ask...
By Lisa Johnson
08/05/09


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If it’s not too much to ask…


Dear God, I’m just a little boy,
But I hear what people say.
They say my Mama was mad at you,
And that’s how things got this way.

She did not want to be alone,
And she kinda lost her mind,
And then she went and dated
The worst boy that she could find.

He didn’t have a daddy
To teach him wrong from right,
So he lied, and stole, and cheated,
From morning until night.

My Mama, she knew better…
But at seventeen she thought
That she could live her life her way,
And forget what she’d been taught.

They were babies having babies.
First one and then another,
But, they really didn’t know how
To take care of me and brother.

My daddy would not keep a job.
The rent was never paid.
But he always had his cigarettes,
And the video games he played.

Good people tried to help them
Learn the things that they should do,
But Daddy wouldn’t listen,
He would just get mad, it’s true.

So, if it’s not too much to ask,
God, could some angels show up,
To help my Mama and Daddy please,
To choose to finally grow up?

‘Cause if the lessons that we need
Are ever gonna reach us,
My brother and I have got to have
Two parents who can teach us.


“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 KJV


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Member Comments
Member Date
Dan Blankenship 08/06/09
Awesome work!

Helen Dowd 08/13/09
Lisa, the message of this poem is GREAT. It is a sad thing portrayed here, a little boy appealing to God for his Mommy...I am not likely the one to give you guidance as to the poetry itself, but my suggestion is, if you use this poem somewhere else (as I know you can't edit it for Challenge), is to make the poem like "couplets." What I mean is, put the second line as an extention to the first, and join the third and fourth lines in each verse. I think it would run more smoothly...But please don't take my word of it. It is just a suggestion from one poet to another...And the Lord bless you for such a very good entry...Helen