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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Adulthood (07/30/09)

TITLE: I Want a Four-Wheeler
By Kaylee Blake
08/03/09


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“But…but I don’t want to grow up…I want a four-wheeler!”

I realize that most people would assume such a whiny statement would have come from a child, or maybe a very young teen, not looking forward to puberty, however, I’m not either. And I really did mean every word. Oh, and I’m nineteen.

My fiance just rolled his eyes. He learned long ago (which was actually only weeks), not to flat out panic when I made such ridiculous statements.

“I mean really…do you realize what they’ll do to me? They’re gonna poke me and prick me and take my blood and insist that I go on the pill…can’t we just stay engaged forever so I don’t have to go…? Pleeee…”

Before I could finish my persuasive argument, a resounding “Heck, no!” burst from his mouth.

OoooK…that was his don’t-argue, no-joking voice. So I kept my mouth shut…well, just enough to stick my tongue out at him.

Against my better judgment, I decided to push it just a little. Cuz I could. “Well, then, what if we got married next July and rented an apartment or something for, like, a month and half, or whatever, and then we come back to school. And, ya know, you go live your dorm, I’ll live in mine…we can hook up for a weekend in a hotel once in a while…”

“Cara…no.”

I stomped my foot. If the “whiny child” approach didn’t work, then maybe the temper tantrum would.

“But married people have no fun…”

“Really? Cuz I thought they had a lot of fun…”

“No, not that…I mean, they grow up. They become…” I shuddered for effect “…adults. They get old, they don’t have fun, they get jobs, they have kids, they yell at the kids, the kids are brats, they work more, the kids get brattier…they have no fun. They gotta be responsible. There’s no spontaneity, no adventure! Life’s more fun without worrying about the future.”

“Honey, are you having second thoughts about getting married?” Forget what I said about learning not to panic…there was alarm in his eyes now.

I sighed...I might be pretty free-sprited, but I do know when to sober up. “No…not really.”

“What does that mean?!”

“No, sweetheart, I’m not. I just…I dunno, it’s a big step, I’m still young…I want to marry you, but it’s still kinda scary. It’s new, it’s change…I don’t know if I’ll be good at this married stuff, I’ve never done it before.” I suddenly felt very small and my voice lowered. “I’m just a little scared. I’m not used to being a grown up yet, and now I’m supposed to have a house and a husband to take care of, before too long. I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you.”

The panic in his eyes, faded and was replaced by something that seemed like a combination of relief and love and…was, it understanding? Gently…ever so gently, for a his lack of prior experience dealing with overreacting, slightly mad, somewhat obsessive fiancees…he lifted my chin with one hand and tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear with the other. “Baby, I know you are going to be a wonderful wife. You really can’t fool me…you’re a lot more mature than you want people to think.” He grinned. Oh, how I love that grin… “You’ll figure it out, you always do. Do you think I know anything about being a husband?”

That made me grin.

“But it’s ok, we got time to figure it out…I mean, we’ve hardly even started to plan our wedding.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into him, snuggling up against his shoulder to hide my tears. “I just don’t want to let you down…” my voice broke despite my best efforts against it.

He held me, not saying anything for a few minutes. After I composed myself a bit, he whispered in my ear, “I love you…we might get upset at each other and we’re both gonna make mistakes, but I’ll always love you.” That smile again. “No matter if you grow up or not.”

I laughed softly. But I still had to clear my conscience. “Geoffrey…there is one more thing....”

“What’s that?”

“I still want that four-wheeler…and maybe a baby giraffe.”


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This article has been read 599 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dan Blankenship 08/06/09
Excellent! Only one small mistake that I saw: "for a his lack..."

BUT other than that...I kept reading...couldn't stop! You grabbed me at the beginning and kept me wondering what was going to be said next the whole way through!

AWESOME WORK!

May God bless you and keep you writing!

Sincerely,
Dan Blankenship

Mariane Holbrook08/10/09
What a delightful read! I could have written this when I was 19 because I didn't want to grow up, either. The MC has a playful, endearing quality that suggests she'll be a loving, adaptable wife when the time is right. You might want to watch your punctuation and also the use of .... Those things are easily remedied and I predict you're well on your way to Master's. You go, girl!
Ada Nett08/11/09
Well-written, I enjoyed reading your work.
Mona Purvis08/11/09
This is one young lady that is too young to marry. I didn't quite get the blood, medical issue at the beginning. If she gets martital counseling, it's doubful she would be advised to get married at this time.
I get the dilemma...youth, adult.
mona
Catrina Bradley 08/11/09
I LOVE it! What a fun, fun story. I love Cara, and I feel like I know her. Maybe you could have introduced the fiance's name earlier in the story - it kind of threw me when it was finally revealed, but other than that minuscule thing - SUPER! Love the last line too. :)
Sara Harricharan 08/12/09
LOL! I want a four-wheeler too...um, right. lol. Great dialog and interaction between the two MC's. I loved the romantic twist on it and the honesty of the two of them. Good job!
Jan Ackerson 10/31/09
Kaylee, this story is adorable, and I'm going to feature it on the Front Page Showcase for the week of November 16th. Look for it on the FaithWriters Home page--and congratulations!
Lizzy Ainsworth11/19/09
Great attention grabbing lines. Sucked me in and perfect for the topic.
As a 17 year old who has been good friends with another 17 year old who just got special permission from court in Australia to get married underage, I can see a big maturity difference between my friend and your character. I like how they are being honest and both admit their immaturity but I wouldn't be letting her get married if she was my daughter.
Flora Sawyer 11/19/09
Hi Kayla,

I'm late leaving a comment on this because I just joined Faithwriters,but wanted to say I like it. it's so good - because you are able to express the feelings in good dialogue - that's not easy.

God Bless,

Flora Sawyer
Flora Sawyer 11/19/09
Sorry I spelled your name wrong last time, Kaylee,

Flora
Jacob Gibson11/20/09
Hee hee hee! That's a great story, Kaylee. I noticed it on the front page of FW and the humorous dialogue sucked me in and I had me to read the whole thing. Very funny and touching and wise. I'm 23 and I don't feel ready to get married! But maybe not many people do. I like the girl's childish goofiness, I can definitely relate. God bless! I too want a four-wheeler... but not that bad. XD