The Official Writing Challenge
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08/06/09
Great story. Great object lesson. Great writing.
08/06/09
A few minor mistakes that I've made myself, many times. Locus should be locusts or locusts', and "uh,oh," is always supposed to be "uh-oh".

Also, using the word "prepare" twice, so close together is usually a no-no.

"Simon grin at the voice that didn’t match the tears" - not sure if you meant to say grinned?

Other than those few small things, it seems like a good entry.

Thanks, and may God always bless you and keep you writing.
08/11/09
I liked the devotional message within your story. Guess we all need to grow up in some areas. Good job!
08/11/09
I found myself thinking that this young man had very attentive parents. Good entry.
Mona
08/11/09
Liked the way you set the scene in the kitchen to correlate with the Bible verses...it worked well.
08/11/09
I love the line "We can never outgrow the need to grow." Good stuff. I like the tying in of dinner with the verse and the boy's learning. A few minor typos, but still very nice!
08/11/09
I like the story very much, and I like the way Simon puts across his desire to attend Bible College. The desire is so well expressed in your writing, the same feeling I had when I was much younger. Loving the Word of God and desiring to study deep into it should be every Christian's aspiration.
08/11/09
“But what?” Dad asked a hint of worry in his tone.


There should be a comma after "Dad asked".

Other than that, and the errors I mentioned earlier, good work!

May God bless.

Sincerely,
Dan Blankenship

08/12/09
Hmmm, a very surprising character Simon is. I wished I could have gotten to know more about him-a sequel perhaps? There seems to be a lot more to this story than can fit in the alloted word count. Thank you for sharing!