The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/07/09
Your writing dove right into the character's thoughts, showing the struggle he faced. Good work.
You really toy with the reader's emotions in this piece. I was happy when Jason's "second nature" kicked in because I was ready to kick him before that. Your details make the story special. I loved the "rain on the windshield like tears."
Excellent writing.
08/08/09
Great writing. Felt real! The rain was very effectively used here.

I was drawn in from the first word.
I found myself thinking oh! I hope they're going to be okay! by the end. lol
Please let me know how it works out for these two. :)
08/12/09
Really good rendering of one of those big life-changing moments.
08/13/09
You wrapped this story up quick, with the man changing his mind - but because you let us in on his thought process, it worked, and worked well. Good job!