The Official Writing Challenge
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What a sad story. Well-written. So glad the kids at least had a daddy willing to be one.
08/06/09
I agree. Very sad story...and very well written.
08/06/09
A sad story. Hope teens read this piece and make some good choices from these characters' mistakes.
Sad story, for sure. I always feel bad about a parent who refuses to accept adult responsibility, particularly in the care of their children, as you demonstrated so well here.
08/10/09
Wow-ominous title, horrific ending, unfortunate story that is too often not fiction. Great writing.
08/12/09
Excellent details. Blood red crayon on the coloring book page...WOW.

Dab of red as requested :) ... decent (first sentence) should be descent.

Another dab ;).. this is just my personal opinion but "melted" does not seem the right word. I personally associate melting with something slow and delicious feeling. I'd rather use a word like collapsed or sank or fell back...

Great job. It felt real.

08/12/09
You captured the reality of this situation. Dialogue and scenes were totally believable. Very well done.
08/12/09
OK... so I feel bad for everyone... especially the kids. Sad story... complicated situation... Well-written
Kudos for the husband in his love for his wife and kids and his recognizing his wife's depression. The dialogue in such situations can be difficult, I'm sure, but you have given a good example of how the circumstances can be broached (honest, direct, compassionate, caring)in that someone facing a like situation might be able to follow.
08/14/09
What an excellent job! So true to life. You made me want to help rescue Joe and the boys.