Come on in. I’m hidin’ out. Maybe they won’t find us here. Gramma’s house has lots’a neat places like this the grown-ups don’t know anything about ‘cause they’re too big to fit in most of ‘em anyway. I like it here at Christmas, don’t you?
Why am I hidin’ out? I’ve seen what they want me to be and I don’t wanna’. And they can’t make me!
It’s ok. I’ve got a package of cookies and some chips. I’ve also got some comic books, a set of Jax and a rubber ball we can play with. I’m real sorry, I already ate the apple. But we can hide out here for a long time. We can sneak back into the kitchen too. They’re too busy to notice.
All the grown-ups are doin’ is talkin’ and it’s so boring. Did you hear ‘em? The women just want to talk about cookin’ and neighbors and stuff. Yuk! And the men, even though there’s a football game on all they want to talk about is what the President and some people called con grassmen are doin’ and some other stuff I don’t get but it’s just as awful soundin’ as what the women are talkin’ about.
I saw uncle Frank open his Christmas present. He acted like clothes were ‘zactly what he wanted, but I know better. I’d puke if I got clothes for Christmas!
I know what happens. I know you get to be taller, but then you have to go someplace called “work”. I don’t know what “work” is but I know my Dad hates it. I can tell, ‘cause he just sits in front of the T.V. when he comes home. He never gets to pop wheelies on a bike, or mess around in a swimming pool, or play soccer or any fun stuff like that.
And he doesn’t get to make cookies with Mom. I can’t imagine anything more fun than makin’ cookies with her.
One thing I really like about cookies is that Mom says if you eat too many of ‘em it’ll stunt your growth. I’m all for that! I don’t wanna’ grow up!
I wonder if my Dad’s ever had any fun. He’s been a grown-up ever since I’ve known him.
My Mom’s real pretty and I’d marry her if I had to grow up and marry somebody. I told her that one time and she said she’s already married to Dad. I don’t know ‘zactly what “married” is, but it can’t be much fun. Sometimes I get to stay with Gramma and they go out on somethin’ called “dates”. I never see ‘em have any fun though. I hope they have fun on them “dates”, but I figure they just go shopping and stuff like that.
My mom keeps sayin’ I’m gonna’ grow up to be just like Dad. I mean, I know he’s a big important man and all, but hey, I’m a kid and kids get to have fun.
I don’t wanna’ grow up! And they can’t make me!
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