The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/06/09
Lots of beautiful phrases and images in this piece. Putting an extra return between paragraphs will make it easier to read your great thoughts.
Your writing is good. Lots of interesting thoughts. It would have been better, however,if you had broken it into paragraphs of 3 or 4 sentences each. I like to digest and consider each paragraph before I move on to the next. But I see great potential here. God bless you.