Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Spring (the season) (07/23/09)
TITLE: What's Your Season?
By Kellie Henningsen
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By mid March every year, dark clouds of depression creep across my horizon. I blink them back, but they don’t move. Rather, they inch forward as the days tick by. I focus my attention on my youngest daughter’s birthday at the end of March but get distracted by the pain that comes with her special day. To everyone else, I am fine, but inside…I am a mess.
Her birthday passes and with it comes April. It gets harder at this point. My skies are darkening more and more. I find it hard to breathe and there is a distinct loss of hope and purpose. I keep up a happy front for my kids, but it’s such a struggle. The world is breaking forth in new life, blossoms are exploding with vibrant colors, birds are singing out a welcoming song, and the lilacs along our driveway are sending up their annual aroma, and all these things bring a pain to my chest.
By the beginning of May, the weight of my pain is crushing. I want to throw it off. I don’t want to go through it again. Every year it’s the same and I’m tired of it but it’s a part of me. May 7th comes and with it the tradition of buying flowers, taking a picnic, and spending the day at the cemetery. The kids help rip out weeds and till the soil, they take turns planting flowers, and I take it all in – every year.
The days that ensue bring one anniversary after another. The day of her first surgery, the day we held her for the first time, and the day we had to let her go. May 19th arrives and I anxiously watch the clock praying for the strength to get past 2:07pm.
The minutes pass and with relief, I realize I’m on the other side once again. The air begins to slowly break up. I can literally feel the pressure rising off my chest. I’ve made it! I look around and see the spring time beauty for the first time and bask in the realization that God will bring us through each season of our lives.
I struggle each spring, but God knows the bigger picture. I take comfort in this. He tells us in Jeremiah that He knows the plans He has for us and I am so thankful for that! Whatever struggles you are going through, God will see you through them. You will come out on the other side, the clouds will part, and you will be able to breathe again. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but your season will pass. I am reminded of this each spring as that is my season. What’s yours?
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