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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Spring (the season) (07/23/09)

TITLE: His Last Spring Day
By Clyde Blakely
07/29/09


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His Last Spring Day



“What’sa thinkin’, Duke, thinkin’ heaven be any gooder then t’is?”

Duke’s ben my faithful companin fer o’er a decade. Why, bein’ in dog years, his ‘bout as old as me, maybe ‘lil olda.

“Hey, Duke, wakes up; ‘joy the day. Fresh air, birds a-singin’…well, I guess they’s singin’. I sees ‘em but it’s ben years since I coulda hears ‘em. Duke, gits up, I knows you can hears ‘em.”

What’d ol’ Duke care about hearin’ birds a-singin’ anyhow? Duke and me’s fished this same hol’ e’er since Martha dun pass. How I misses her! We’s come down her’ many times, just me and her and Duke. So purty we’s wish da day woulds last fure’er…

“I don’t knows if’n I’s e’er sawed mo’ bootafil sprin’ flow’rs. I’s ben told heav’n ar’ purtier but I doesn’t think God coulda beat t‘day. E’erythin’s purfect. Well, ‘cept for this her’ shouder ache a mine.”

Wander what I dun to it. Ain’t really dun much ‘cept casting t’day. Dadblame it anyway, couln’t dun no werk no how, ain’t got no wind. Kinda all pooped out.

“I’s a wonderin’ if’n thar be any fish lef’ ‘n this her’ crik anyhow. Ain’t had nary a bite all mornin’. Duke, ye ain’t ben in the wat’a all day, how’s cum?”

Furst time he ain’t ben swimmin ‘n’ scarin’ off all ‘em fishes. Awe, I’d mite as well let’m sleep. But he’s a missin the purtiester of days.

“I wonders what Martha’s up to ther’ t’day? Said she’d be a-watchin’ o’er me, hoping so. Hopes she’s a-seein’ today down her’, she’s a missin’ sumptin special. Bestest sprin’ day I’s e’er did sees.”

Dern shoulder ache, get’n worse. ‘n’ my wind. Feelun’ as I werked all day.

“Hey, Duke, wakes up, gettin’ dark allready. Cum’on Duke wakes up.”

Nudging, “O’my. Duke’s done died! Duke, ol’ boy, Duke!”

“Why’s it be so dark? Ain’t but noon. O’, my shoulder…”



“Martha!”

“I told you I’d be a-watchun’. Yer a-home now.”

“I kin’t be a-home. I’s a-fishin’ when it be turnin’ dark. It be so bright nows, hows come? Ain’t seein’ no sun.”

“You’s be a-home, John. You’s home. Ain’t no need fer sun her’.”

John surveys his surroundings.

“I hears ‘em birds a singin’.”

“‘Em ain’t birds, John.”

“It real purty, be it a-church music singin’?”

“’Em er’ angels, John, ‘em be angels.”

“They be?! Why lookit ’em flowers, so bright and purty…’n’ that ther’ wat’a, so clear and sparkly…it lookin’ just like it bein’ live!”

“John, it be livin’ wat’a, allright.”

“Livin’s wat’a, I’s be.”

“John, you’s ain’t seen nutten yet. Ther’ be Someon’ a-want’n to sees you.”

“Ol’ Duke?”

“Maybe a-later, John. This’n be Someon’ e’en better!”

“The Maker’ sprin’ days?”

“The Maker’ e’re day. Da Maker dis her’ day too!”

“Wher’ He be?”

“Up da stream. I’s be her’ to go’s wit ya.”

“T’is da bestest sprin’ day e’er Martha, e’er!”

“John, it’ll be a-lastin’ fure’er!”

“Let’s go meet da Maker of dis e’erlastin’ day!”



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This article has been read 426 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sara Harricharan 07/31/09
Well, your title explained what happened, because I was a little confused as to where he was going. The dialog is done well in keeping the local slang just rightly tempered for the character, but it was a tad distracting at times, because I just wanted the story to continue-lol. Still, a good job! Interesting read!
Anita van der Elst07/31/09
Yes, I had quite a bit of trouble with the dialogue until I started reading it outloud. If flowed better then. But still rather distracting. I liked the point of view a lot though.
Seema Bagai 08/06/09
Creative. I enjoyed this unique story. Good work.
Clyde Blakely 08/06/09
Good-bye
Lisa Johnson 09/02/09
I enjoyed this story very much...did I detect a little cajun in that dialect?
Thank you by the way for your kind words about my story about my brother.