The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1008 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
07/24/09
Excellent writing and powerful emotions. Glad she came to her senses at the end.
07/24/09
Your title is perfect for this piece. I'm so glad the girl had a change of heart. This dealt with a hard subject. You did very well.
07/26/09
Powerful writing. I was expecting a tragic ending, and was pleased she came to her senses. The turn around was well done; not forced or rushed.
The one phrase I felt didn't fit was 'after an hour of thought'. That came over as too cool and calculating when the rest of the story was racing with adrenaline.
I loved the heart-rending messages from her mum and how they let Emily know the road home was still open. Great job all round.
This was very vividly written. Incredible detail, almost to the point of being gross. Gross, but very effective. Well done!
Powerful story and sadly very real for many teens. I found the connection from her tongue to her angry heart to be a little forced and disconnected, but otherwise her transition seemed very realistic.
07/27/09
My, my there is no reason for me to be writing in the same category. Outstanding job. Crisp, polished and anointed. Great job. God bless.
This really is excellent writing, well worth EC placement. I was so glad the girl was making the choice that would make her and her mother happy.
07/30/09
Debbie, your piece spoke volumes about the "bottom line" of being a teenager. You took the fluff away and exposed the reality. Just brilliant.
Mona
07/30/09
Oh, this one's so real to me! When I was teaching at a community college, I had a student who got her tongue pierced. She got a terrible infection, and had to drop out of school. You described this girl's anguished journey SO vividly! Congratulations on your EC!!
Powerful writing, Debbie, and so deserving of your placement in EC. Your ability to capture and show emotions is so evident.
07/30/09
The description of the infection was almost too gross for me, but when I pictured my own infected heart, I realized how valid your use of "grossness" was. Great job - loved it. Congrats! :)