The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/24/09
Excellent writing and powerful emotions. Glad she came to her senses at the end.
07/24/09
Your title is perfect for this piece. I'm so glad the girl had a change of heart. This dealt with a hard subject. You did very well.
07/26/09
Powerful writing. I was expecting a tragic ending, and was pleased she came to her senses. The turn around was well done; not forced or rushed.
The one phrase I felt didn't fit was 'after an hour of thought'. That came over as too cool and calculating when the rest of the story was racing with adrenaline.
I loved the heart-rending messages from her mum and how they let Emily know the road home was still open. Great job all round.
07/27/09
This was very vividly written. Incredible detail, almost to the point of being gross. Gross, but very effective. Well done!
07/27/09
Powerful story and sadly very real for many teens. I found the connection from her tongue to her angry heart to be a little forced and disconnected, but otherwise her transition seemed very realistic.
07/27/09
My, my there is no reason for me to be writing in the same category. Outstanding job. Crisp, polished and anointed. Great job. God bless.
07/30/09
This really is excellent writing, well worth EC placement. I was so glad the girl was making the choice that would make her and her mother happy.
07/30/09
Debbie, your piece spoke volumes about the "bottom line" of being a teenager. You took the fluff away and exposed the reality. Just brilliant.
Mona
07/30/09
Oh, this one's so real to me! When I was teaching at a community college, I had a student who got her tongue pierced. She got a terrible infection, and had to drop out of school. You described this girl's anguished journey SO vividly! Congratulations on your EC!!
07/30/09
Powerful writing, Debbie, and so deserving of your placement in EC. Your ability to capture and show emotions is so evident.
07/30/09
The description of the infection was almost too gross for me, but when I pictured my own infected heart, I realized how valid your use of "grossness" was. Great job - loved it. Congrats! :)