The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/23/09
I really liked this one....very poignant.
07/24/09
Every teen girl needs to read this piece. I could feel the girl's emotions throughout. Excellent writing and I liked the hope at the end.
You showed very well the emotions of your mc. My heart went out to this believable girl, hoping she'd make the right choice and her parents would be understanding.
07/26/09
This is a sad reality for so so many girls.
I read all the way through thinking she was at an abortion clinic and was so relieved by the last line. Unfortunately too many by-pass the help that is on offer, or don't know it's available, and live with a pain that never quite goes away. You have written powerfully about an important issue, and reminded me to pray for those who work in the pregnancy crisis centres. Good job.
My favorite so far. Excellent writing. I stumbled on "Worry pushed Mom's smile aside." It didn't make sense to me. Otherwise, superb. Including the title.
07/29/09
I'm glad that she went somewhere for help in the end. This was good, but really sad. nicely done!
Oooo, great twist. I didn't see that last line coming. Great job--skilled writing! This line, "But her daughter was home on time that night, gushing about the boy and begging to go out again." felt just a little like a POV shift into the mom's perspective, to me, even though it technically is fine.
07/29/09
Conflict, doubt, worry, hope, fear. Added together so well in the telling of this easy to believe story.
Exceptional writing.
Mona