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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Adolescence/Teen Years (07/16/09)

TITLE: Just Take Me Out And Shoot Me Now
By Mariane Holbrook
07/16/09


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Dear Diary, please listen, I wont say this twice:
Im fed up with being a good girl and nice.
I try to do right but I mess up instead.
Im fifteen years old and I wish I were dead!

To give an example of how life can be,
I went to the Dairy Store; Mother sent me.
She gave me ten dollars, we needed ice cream;
Now, dont get vanilla, get Cherry Supreme.

Dear Diary, youd think thats a simple request:
Guests coming for dinner so please buy the best.
But stupid ole me had to act like a fool.
I wish I were dead; man, this life can be cruel!

What happened, Dear Diary, was this, dont you see?
The boy right behind me was flirting with me.
The line for the ice cream was long and so slow
We did what we could to fight boredom, you know.

To think that Adonis, this handsome Greek god,
Would look at my acne yet give me the nod
Just blew me away and I lost all restraint.
He flirted so boldly I even felt faint.

Your eyes are so beautifully blue, Greek god gushed.
I batted my eyelashes, knew my face blushed.
I know heaven brought us together, he said.
(My brain calculated how soon we could wed.)

He was right out of high school, hed just turned eighteen.
His car parked out front he had painted cool green.
He was visiting relatives right down the street.
Im glad you like ice cream; it caused us to meet.

As we got to the counter, I heard Greek god say,
On Friday Ill have to be going away.
Do you like to write letters? I knew youd say yes!
I sell writing paper just hot off the press.

He opened his briefcase and pulled out a box
(This cool looking dude was as sly as a fox.)
Ill bet youd like this one, primroses and such;
Its only ten dollars and that isnt much.

The whole store was quiet, they all listened in.
My face was beet red, and I felt such chagrin.
I guess Ill buy this one, I whispered it low.
He grabbed the ten dollars and started to go.

He never looked back for he spied a brunette
Who stood in the corner, not waited on yet.
I saw him go over, and stick out his hand.
I watched his performance and man, it was grand!

I took my old time walking back to our house.
Id spent Mothers money and felt like a louse.
If Mom wont forgive me for being a flirt,
These pink primrose note cards will be our dessert.


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This article has been read 659 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Gregory Kane07/23/09
What a perfect title for this topic!
Sara Harricharan 07/23/09
Awww, poor thing. Loved the descriptions and of course, the title! Excellent piece.
william price07/23/09
Great title. I got a kick out of reading it. God bless.
Robyn Burke07/23/09
This was hilarious! Loved it!
Seema Bagai 07/23/09
I usually pass by poems, but the title intrigued me and I had to read it. Excellent.
Verna Cole Mitchell 07/24/09
This humorous narrative poem is delightful from title to the end, and you nailed the topic. Great job!
Helen Dowd 07/24/09
Oh how cute! I guess we were all "fifteen" once and did silly things. I think I would have DIED if a boy had talked to me at that age. I disliked BOYS immensely. But I sure did stupid things, like buying Mom a special "candy dish" that I learned when I gave it to her that it was an "ash tray." Was my face red! Oh there are lots of things a 15 year old girl does that she wished could be wiped from her slate. But your experience "took the cake!"--or should I say, "ice cream." I guess you ate "humble pie" that night...Loved it...Helen
Jackie Wilson07/25/09
So much fun! Loved the title, too.
Sharon Kane07/26/09
A perfect title and a fun read! And haven't we all been there in one way or another, bright red and wishing the ground would open and swallow us whole.
Noel Mitaxa 07/27/09
Loved the highs and lows. How did we survive them without God's grace?
Amy Michelle Wiley 07/28/09
Ha, this is great! Nice rythmn and rhyme, and great story.
Diana Dart 07/29/09
Cute, cute, cute. Hope she learned her lesson ;-)
Mona Purvis07/29/09
Oh, been there a time or two. You wrote this so well. It's sometimes hard to capture the essence of a story in rhyme. But, you did it. Great writing.
Mona
LaNaye Perkins07/30/09
Oh how cute! I love the humor in your poem. It was good and described adolescence so well. Great writing!