The Official Writing Challenge
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i really enjoyed the clear picture of the character's frustration! Question: is the use of so many "c"s a literary device? I kind of got bogged down at times:"creaking chair chorus crickets," etc. Nevertheless this was fun!
07/16/09
An excellent message and well-chosen details in this piece.
07/20/09
I felt sorry for Clarice. I'm glad she has her grandmother with her, too! Great job with the details--well done.
07/21/09
This is very much a story set in two different styles. Your opening and seventh paragraphs were exhausting to read with a swift succession of so many strong verbs. They did however encapsulate Clarice's sense of drugery. Outside of these paragraphs the pace slowed way way down. Easier to read and a fitting contrast given the advice.
Quite an enjoyable read. I loved it.
07/22/09
The things that we can learn from bugs! Thank you for the good lesson.
Boy, this poor kid has a hard life; thank God Granny's there with kind words. The end explained a lot. Good lesson.
07/22/09
Ouch for Clarice. I sure know what that feels like. You captured her frustration well and this read with a slightly lyrical feel to it. I'm glad she has granny around to help her balance out a bit. This was good.
07/22/09
I liked this a lot! I got the sense of an "old-timey" setting, but maybe that's not what you intended. Anyway you see it, this story tells an excellent lesson and is well-written!
07/22/09
Wonderful! Perfect inside-view of this child. I remember having the same thoughts and feelings when made to do chores. The ending on this story is masterful! Granny's words are truly inspired. This one is a winner. :)