The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/16/09
A unique angle on the topic. This piece kept me interested throughout and left me wanting to read more about this young man.
I enjoyed your story, but there is much more to be told. I hope you expand it in the future.
07/20/09
I like the comment about God loving the world, but not putting any lines on the map. Interesting thoughts from an illegal's point of view. It does make one question what is right...
Nice job. I think the conversation could have been broken up with some movement. It became monotonous reading the conversations after a while, but it was still very interesting reading. I felt for the characters.
07/20/09
An intriguing story about a difficult situation. Thank you for sharing this!
So much to share within the constraints of the word limit. I hope you will expand this and add in more movement, showing body language and such.