The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/17/09
A fun read.
I kept trying to find a meter and not managing it, which was a bit frustrating.
You really did get the child's voice and priorites perfect!
07/17/09
The short last line in each stanza seemed to jar the meter a bit--but I did like the fun way you presented the mother from her child's POV.
07/18/09
You truly are a dictionary of rhyming words - well chosen.

I felt as if I were looking through a shoebox full of summer vacation photos.
07/19/09
This put a smile on my face! Very cleverly written! At first, I had a little trouble with the fourth line in each verse, but the more I read, the more I liked what you had done with the poem.
I had a little trouble with the meter, too (and not just the shorter lines), but loved the message. It's so true! haha