The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/10/09
Ah, dreams! Such a wonderful gift from the heart of God.
07/11/09
This was certainly a clever way to contrast youth and old age. It did seem to spend a little too much time on the teen for a piece upon twilight years, although perhaps that wouldn't be the case if the first half were made clearer that this is a memory. Theme aside, my favourite line was "...happy, almost mischeivious...". It really brought that Mrs. Hammond was reliving the incident in dream rather than just remembering happy days.
07/12/09
Nice story, transitioning from the memory to the present was a little rough. Some kind of indication for the reader would be nice. Not clear what the story line had to do with topic. A person could have been in accident and be comatose and relive a favorite memory without being in their twilight years. Still good writing though.