The Official Writing Challenge
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The descriptions are magnificent and the feelings very tender; still I'm a little confused about what train Niles is on following his death.
07/10/09
Fascinating.
I read it twice and remained confused until I read Lisa's comment. Then I read it a third time and everything fell into place. Wonderful descriptions.
07/11/09
I found this interesting but maybe a few more hints to reveal the type of train Niles is on would end the confusion some of your readers had.
07/14/09
Loved this tender tale, absolutely loved it. Such a wistfulness in this expression of love.
Beautiful writing! I didn't quite "get" that he was on a train to Heaven after death until I read others comments. But ... I loved the story anyway and had come up with my own interpretion! Your descriptions and poetic language are fantastic.