The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/09/09
Nice job weaving in little bits of history...
Lovely story
07/10/09
Lovingly told story.

Needs a little attention given to punctuation in the case of direct address.

I loved the flow of your dialog.
07/11/09
I really quite liked the character you gave to the grandfather, particularly the humility he shows in spite of having a long life through so much. One thing that didn't quite ring true was that his granddaughter showed a very childish, almost nagging manner of questioning. However it was clear from her pregnancy and the grandfathers age that she wasn't a child. By contrast the grandfathers voice is most fitting indeed.
Beautiful story, well told with the grandfather being a wonderful mc. Loved how he interacted with the granddaughter. Well done my friend.:) Norms