The Official Writing Challenge
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Moving story that had my heart all the way to the end.

I almost got lost in the dialog section. The reader might need a cue or two. No big deal.

I am not a big fan of semi-colons, but that may simply be my preference.

This story is well worth a rewrite because it is a beautiful moment.
I love the way our UK friends write. This was a tear-jerker written from a sympathetic heart. Thanks for entering it!
Love the idea of a "Jesus Party" and the interactions of the characters.
This was really a bittersweet story, so tenderly written.
I've seen these little aged children and my heart goes out to them. A touching story and an excellent creative subject for this topic.
What a wonderful story idea. The struggles that little girl must have faced, growing old so quickly. I like the idea of a Jesus party!
Sad story--with hope, told very well
Very well done! Your title explained the family realationships just wonderful and I was sad that the story just ended, I was hoping for more. You could definitely expand on this idea-there seems to be so much more to it. Great job!
A sad story, but you humanized this rare illness very well. I can imagine how heartbreaking it would be to see a child die like this.
There's always a happy ending when you know Jesus, but it's the middle that makes you wonder how life can sometimes be so cruel. Great writing. Loved (and hated) your story.
Sad ending, yet with certainty of eternity with the Lord. The comparison of who's going first to Jesus is somewhat heart wrenching. You've expressed the feelings and the emotions in your writing very well.