Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Twilight Years of Life (07/02/09)

TITLE: Sweet Gummy Love
By Bryan Ridenour


“Hervil,” warbled Beatrice his wife. “I found y’r teeth under your pillow.”

Decidedly doddery, Hervil shuffled to the bedroom, leaning on a hand carved walking stick for support.

“What’cha hollerin’ about?” Hervil huffed, out of breath.

“I found y’r chompers,” she shouted, holding on to a porcelain molar.

Hervil’s gummy grin nearly met on the back of his head. He grabbed and inspected the dentures, shoving them into his empty mouth. Clacking his teeth together, Hervil smiled, satisfied with the results.

“Thank y’ honey,” he gushed. “I ain’t been this happy since the Piggly Wiggly ran a special on Depends. Now I don’t have to gum m’ Bran Flakes.”

“Shakes?” she questioned, cupping her ear. “You’ve got th’ shakes?”

“No,” he thundered. “Flakes!”

She examined her stooped shoulders, brushing each twice. “I washed m’ hair this mornin’,” she informed with a firm nod of the head.

“Never mind,” he shouted.

“Herval, I ain’t lost m’ mind,” she responded coolly.

Herval padded to the bathroom and rifled though a drawer crammed with amber colored pill bottles. Shaking one, he smiled at the little yellow pill responsible for putting a spark back in his marriage. He withdrew the bottles, arranging them by size on the bathroom counter. He counted the pharmaceutical wonders. Twenty-three pills a day, he thought. Every morning before a ritual cup of coffee and morning date with a magnifying glass and the Cameron Daily, almost two-dozen pills of various colors and a myriad of sizes, slid down his throat with the aid of a tall glass of prune juice, chilled. He understood how a Pez dispenser must feel.

He resumed rummaging. “Aha,” he announced to himself in the mirror.

Hervil wrapped his aching fingers around the fragile devices and delivered them to his wife.

“You forgot these,” Hervil announced.

“Oh,” she groaned, feeling her ears.

Within moments, a high-pitched squeal and a minor adjustment awakened her hearing. Tears filled her eyes as she patted the bed, inviting Hervil to have a seat. He thumped down, both knees aching and creaking.

“What’s wrong Bea?” he asked, wanting to know.

“We’re getting’ old,” she wailed.

“I’m not sure I’m ready for the alternative,” he said, wrapping an arm around his frail beloved.

“Hervil, I can’t hear, I can’t see…I can’t remember what I did ten minutes ago…”

“You can still drive,” he encouraged.

“Well…,” she said sniffing

Hervil pulled his wife close, wiping away a trail of tears, dripping and dampening the front of her bathrobe.

“I love you Bea,” he soothed, “just the way you are. Besides, you ain’t married to a spring chicken either.”

She glanced at her husband, brightening.

“Anyway, you ain’t totally useless,” he crowed. “You found m’ teeth, and I’m glad about that. I want to be buried in these teeth.”

“Buried…? In those?” she asked, shocked.

“Yep. When I meet m’ Maker, I want to Him to know I’m His indentured servant,” he smiled, tapping his incisors.

Bea chuckled then erupted into a raspy cackle. “Oh Hervil, come her y’ big lug,” she invited, winking.

Hervil blushed bright red and dropped his cane on the floor, stashing his dentures under his pillow. "Now y'r talkin'..."

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.

This article has been read 1037 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jim McWhinnie 07/09/09
A playful bit of grace as found in a few moments of "old" love.

Genia Gilbert07/11/09
This is very cute, and well written.
Charla Diehl 07/11/09
Thank you for this light hearted take on growing old together--and yes, a sense of humor is essential.
Mona Purvis07/11/09
Would you believe I know a couple just like this? Great fun!
Ed VanDeMark07/13/09
Thank's for the glimpse into my future. I'm already up to nine pills a day and my mouth resembles a major construction zone, full of bridges, and root canals. Seriously this is a good read, a fun and tender look into growing old.
Karlene Jacobsen07/13/09
These two are such fun. I'd love to spend a day with them! My favorite phrase, "I want Him to know I'm His indentured servant." LOL
Shelley Ledfors 07/13/09
What fun! I really enjoyed this couple.
Patricia Herchenroether07/13/09
Hervil and Bea are now one of my favorite couples. Cute, funny, and rich.
Lyn Churchyard07/14/09
Oh this was just perfect! Wonderfully written with wonderful characters. Well done!
c clemons07/14/09
This was fun and funny, I liked it a lot. Good job!
Marlene Bonney 07/14/09
Clever and humorous in just the right places! Reminds me of what my grandmother used to say, "We may as well laugh as cry!"
Christina Banks 07/15/09
I love these characters! I'm still chuckling over the Depends comment. Well done!
Sara Harricharan 07/15/09
A sweet and cute story of this delightful couple growing old together. Loved the name "Hervil" It was just classic! The touch of humor between them is believable and natural. Great stuff!
Carol Slider 07/15/09
A very sweet story. Love your sense of humor!
Chely Roach07/15/09
Great title, great story. So very funny. Well done!
Carole Robishaw 07/16/09
"I want Him to know I’m His indentured servant,”

I can see my hubby making this comment, he has the same weird sense of humor. Loved it!