The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1413 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Loved that last line!
Isn't it true how little things (or lots of scary little things, as the case may be!) always seem to intrude on our time with God? Well done!
08/11/05
Creatively done and well written. Loved the last line too! :)
08/11/05
I'm usually turned off by so many adjectives, but they really worked to set the mood early in your piece. Just when we were all calm...the wasps! You tapped into one of my biggest nightmares. Well done!
08/12/05
Well written and good descriptions, I could almost feel them buzzing around me!
I was running all the way to the house with you! Good read! Good point!
08/12/05
Okay. Well done. How often we forget, we are in their space.
08/12/05
They do have a way of getting rid of us! :) Been there, done that! :)
Good job of taking us with you on your - umm - retreat with the buzzers! :)
08/13/05
How funny ... (probably not, but a funny read anyway!). And I gotta get me one of those "emerald trees" ... no wonder you can afford a gazebo! lol!

OK.. seriously. The beginning was a bit too literary. I know that the point was to set up the contrast between beautiful worship and stinging chaos, but I think you went just a touch over with your descriptions. You certainly have a talent for penning a touching line! Just keep it toned down a touch. My 2 cents ... oh, and glad there were no stings!
08/15/05
: ) You have a delightfully descriptive writing style. What a powerfully symbolic event of how the unexpected can intrude on our attemtps at solitude. Your closing line was amusing. Thea
08/15/05
: ) You have a delightfully descriptive writing style. What a powerfully symbolic event of how the unexpected can intrude on our attemtps at solitude. Your closing line was amusing. Thea