Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Bitter and Sweet (05/28/09)

TITLE: Something's Rotten in Miss Callie's Orchard
By Dee Yoder
06/01/09


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Me and Ryan Hamilton ambled our way to Miss Callie’s orchard late Sunday evening. Ryan hadn’t decided whether we were going to pitch the tent that he carried rolled up on his back, but I was hoping we would.

I’d slept in the woods before, but sneaking onto miserly Miss Callie’s orchard and spending the night there, was a challenge. I did think for one minute about the fact that her old hound dog might come after us, but I was pretty sure we’d best him. We didn’t bring any food. It was part of the fun to eat right off Miss Callie’s trees. If we got real brave, we planned on getting our thirst quenched at her well pump. It stood up straight as a soldier just on the other side of her kitchen window.

Everybody in town hated Miss Callie. She was cross 24-7, and yelled at any kid that tried to eat even one apple off her trees. She let many a pile of apples go to waste rather than share her harvest, but Ryan and me was going to make a dent in her apples tonight.

If my Ma knew what we were planning, she’d skin me alive. She was too good, in my opinion. She’d pinned my ears back once when she caught me calling Miss Callie a biddy. When I’d complained, Ma’d told me that being mean back to someone was a waste of time. I didn’t believe that for a minute. People got what they gave and Miss Callie was way past time to get hers, and I considered it time well spent to help her get it.

The sun was showing a speck of itself still on the horizon when we shimmied our way under the fence that surrounded Miss Callie’s apple trees. Near to the ground, big fat bumblebees droned from clover to clover, and sometimes, took a rest on top of a wormy brown apple.

Ryan led the way as we crawled on our bellies to a line of trees near the fence. The grass was a foot high under those trees and I thought a minute about whether snakes might be under there. But making lots of noise to scare them off was out of the question, so we squirmed onward, the tickle of the weeds on my nose nearly sending me into a sneezing frenzy.

We parked ourselves under the second tree in the row, and slowly took our backpacks off to pitch our camp. Once we had our bedrolls out and were settled in, Ryan gave me a wide grin as he reached right up above his head and snatched a fat apple off the branch. He lit into that apple like he hadn’t eaten in months and I followed him with my own sweet, juicy fruit. We must have devoured six or seven apples a piece before we slowed down. We lay back on our bedrolls and I asked about pitching the tent after the first mosquito bit my ear.

“Naw. It’s good just being under this here tree,” Ryan shook his head. I disagreed, but he owned the tent so I shut up. We ate us about four more apples and our pile of cores looked pretty impressive when we finally rolled onto our full bellies.

“I can’t wait to see Miss Callie’s face when she spies our damage,” Ryan grinned. I nodded and shut my eyes, too full of fruit to answer.

I slept right through the night, until a sudden shower woke me up. The smell, though, wasn’t nothing like fresh rain and I sputtered and gagged as I tasted bitter liquid on my lips. About the same time, Ryan come off his bedroll gagging and puking and he jumped up right into the face of Miss Callie.

“I knew you boys was a gittin’ my apples,” she screeched as she took to smacking on Ryan’s head with her insect sprayer. Ryan tore outta there and left me behind. I glanced over just as she pumped that contraption full of vinegar and spewed it out like poison on my head. I staggered to my feet, and took off running, Miss Callie cackling and hooting like a banshee as she watched me go.

“Patience is bitter, but it bears sweet fruit, “she yelled while I high-tailed it away from Miss Callie’s weapon.

I couldn’t stop coughing as her laughter chased me home, and I still had Ma to face, too.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 700 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Charla Diehl 06/04/09
Your excellent choice of words, and the imagery you painted made this story come vividly to life. Truly a fun read.
Joanne Sher 06/04/09
Oh, super characterization and voice. Loved this piece. Fun.
Beth LaBuff 06/04/09
What a fun adventure...with a humorous ending! Your title is perfect!
Marita Vandertogt06/04/09
I love your writing style...makes for an easy, entertaining read.
Brenda Rice 06/04/09
Having two sons who have done similar things, I could relate to this one. You captured the tone of two boys up to no good. I really like it.
Genia Gilbert06/08/09
This is great. I was there in that orchard, and knowing that nothing good was coming, except a hard lesson learned. LOL Thanks for writing.
Colin Swann06/08/09
Delightful! Utterly delightful! Colin
Laury Hubrich 06/09/09
This was a very fun entry - bravo! Made me laugh. I knew Miss Callie would win in the end - just didn't know how. lol.
Carol Slider 06/10/09
Hilarious! I couldn't wait to find out what Miss Callie's revenge would be--though I think they might have regretted this the day after, anyway. (Ten or eleven apples all at once... EEK!) Well done!
Mona Purvis06/10/09
Home-spun tale told with just the right flavor. Very good.
mona
Jan Ackerson 06/10/09
Excellent voice and atmosphere--love the wit and the story arc. Good one, Dee!