The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
05/28/09
Many people, living with such tragedy, miss the "God moment" and become bitter and give up hope. Great truth—eternal light trumps any kind of darkness.
06/03/09
Beautiful and sad, but also full of grace.

I'd have liked a few more indications as to your narrator's age. I couldn't figure out if she was a teen, or a bit younger.

This is extremely creative and original...I always enjoy reading your work.
06/03/09
This is a moving story and certainly an unusual one. I like the way that you painted your MC as flawed and vulnerable yet left a ray of hope at the end. My one quibble would be that I didn't really bite on the hook until the fourth paragraph. The previous section seemed all very predictable - another childhood story. But then I hit the car crash and I said 'Wow.' From then on you held my attention. Bless you, Gregory
Moving story of God's grace in dark times. Well done.
06/03/09
ooohhhh, I wonder when she'll draw something she's proud of again. I love reading stories where creative people work through their own blocks and this was wonderful! ^_^
06/03/09
How crushing for an aspiring artist who'd already endured so much! I'm so glad this had a hopeful ending. Well done!
06/03/09
What a sad story but one that ends with hope. With the MC's faith in tact, it would be fun to revisit her one of these days. I wouldn't be surprised if she turned out to be an accomplished artist despite her blindness.
06/03/09
A really lovely well written story. Thank. Colin
06/03/09
Your MC's thoughts and dialog seem very, very good. I was sympathizing with her through the whole story. I was secretly hoping she would try sculpture. :)
I think your MC shows courage.
I enjoyed reading this well-written piece. Kudos.
06/03/09
Your use of short paragraphs interspersed throughout the story really works for you. It's an interesting style. The 1st, 4th, and others stop the reader and make him listen up.
Loved the story, but really enjoyed the style you write with.
Mona
06/03/09
Mesmerizing. I love the visual (sorry) of her "seeing" when she closes her eyes, until the sadness takes it away and leaves only darkness. Love brought the light back. So good!
06/04/09
This is very sad. Nice story, though.
06/08/09
This is beautiful, Joanne. Well done!
07/04/09
All I can say is awesome! It comes to no surprise to see that you are a Masters level writer. You had me from the start, but really had me from the line about the car crash. I loved the end where she still "sees" the spiritual light of God's love despite her physical blindness. Awesome!

Thank you BTW for your comment on my poem.

LIsa
07/08/09
Hi Joanne: I read your story, "When I close my eyes." It was very emotional and poingnant. It helped me to appreciate my eyesight, something we often take for granted. Good writing.
Robert Bray
07/14/09
I don't know if you know someone who is blind, but you have written this piece as though you did or still do. If you wrote this without any knowledge of how a blind person thinks or feels in situations such as this, you have captured for this reader, a true sense of your mc. This is beautifully written and I am thankful you stopped by my recent entry or I may not have found this masterful piece of writing. Thank you for sharing. Blessings to you and your family. God is surely using you in all that you do. Laura
08/27/09
Great principles embedded in this piece of writing...
09/23/09
My heart drew closer and closer to the saddest moment of the story as I read, till I reached the point of HOPE: the assurance in trusting the LORD for a better tomorrow; and also realised I was reading one of your creative works. It is wonderful.
A wonderful well written story about the light of Jesus. It is just wonderful all the way!