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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Light and Dark (05/21/09)

TITLE: Listen to the Light
By Cecile Hurst
05/25/09


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For the longest time there was nothing but snow in the night. Quiet. Peaceful. Like fuzz on a TV screen because it didn’t fall, it just was. It hovered. And I hovered with it. Sometimes I dreamed. I know it was dreaming because Logan was there and Logan is not. Impossible things only happen in dreams. His voice would float to me out of the darkness; whisper things close to my ear. And I’d know it was him because of the way his breath fell on my cheek.
“Can you hear me?” he’d say.
And I’d try my hardest not to smile. Soon Logan, soon. Soon I’ll answer you. Not now though my love. Not yet.
“Can you hear me?” he’d try again.
And I’d try my hardest not to giggle. Silly man. Impatient as a puppy.

Suddenly a light flashes by – shadowed, red. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter and wish for it to go away. But more flashes come.
Light.
Dark.
Light.
Dark.
Light.
Brighter light.
Glaring!
“Can you hear me?”
The light moves to the side and in its wake a face appears. It is mouthing…
“Can you hear me?”
I shake my head no. No. I can not hear you. But I can smell the oil, and feel the rain hit my face and see your caring, questioning face.
“No? You can’t hear me?”
I try my hardest not to smile. No Logan I can not hear you. But soon my love. I’m sure it will be soon.
“Can you hear me?”
I try my hardest not to giggle. Silly man – yelling will not make a difference.
The light moves into my eyes again.
Then it’s dark.
A kaleidoscope turns behind my eyelids – yellow, orange, blue, green, violet – the colors move before disintegrating into ash. I look up, expecting snow, but instead another flash of light.

I squint, and in a moment, Logan is there, drawing the blinds. He turns mid-sentence, sees I am not listening, and sits down to start again.
“Can you hear me?”
Oh Logan…
“Can you hear me?”
Look at you in your uniform, so handsome. Come to visit the victim have you? Did you want a statement? How about you start off by telling me if there’s anything left of my bike.
“Can you hear me?”
Policemen are the cutest when they’re confused. I try my hardest not to smile, not to giggle. I’ll answer you soon Logan dear, but for now let me have my fun – you’ll have yours soon enough when you marry me.

Dark.
I suppose I fell asleep. And as I slept it started to snow. There is snow beneath my feet and there is Logan beneath my feet. I wonder, can he hear me? This wonder makes me cry and I quickly wish it hadn’t as the tears slip-slide into my ears. I try to stop but more fall anyways. It’s just not fair! Not fair to show the beginning and then skip straight to the end. There were seventeen years before this, and how many after? Decades after! A car drives by.
Light.
The car passes.
Dark.
Light.
Dark.
“Hear me.”
I jump at the sounds.
Light. The brightest Light. But I do not shade my eyes, I open them wider. I want this Light to fill me!
“Hear me.”
I smile so wide. I laugh and it ripples through my head. “Yes! Yes I hear you! Are you…”
He answers, “I AM.”
“And Logan?”
“Come.”
And for the first time I hear him: “Milly! Milly! Can you hear me?” he’s shouting from within the Light.
“Yes,” I finally say. “Yes Logan, I can hear you!”

TWO FEET AWAY

The nurse flipped a switch and the beep stopped. It was quiet. Peaceful.
Carla wiped away more tears.
Mark squeezed her shoulder.
It was Logan that spoke; his voice too loud, his words too long: “She wi da ow Car-ee. She wi Je-uz. She an ear.”
Carla nodded and sniffed, then turned to sign. “Yes Logan,” her hand’s said, “She’s with dad now. She’s with Jesus. And she can finally hear.”
One day me too, Logan thought – one day me too.


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This article has been read 324 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 05/29/09
Love the writing style--it really fit with the nature of the piece, and forced me to slow down and read it very carefully.

It'll be easier to read if you put spaces between all paragraphs, even the very short ones that consist only of dialogue. And I did catch one apostrophe in a plural noun, somewhere toward the end.

Excellent, edgy, very creative. Strong entry.
Sunny Loomis 06/03/09
Couldn't figure what was happening at first, but realized the situation. Things cleared up by the end. Very well done.