The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
Descriptive, powerful, and hard-to-read story. I like the unique setting. Very well done.
05/28/09
The twist got to me. Perfect for the topic, and incredible descriptions. I love the hope at the end.
05/30/09
Powerful and painful story. You might have waited a bit too late into her story to reveal how old she was - I started out thinking she was an adult looking back. That being said, I'm glad she finally told her dad. Too many girls never tell. Great job with this very difficult subject.
05/31/09
This was indeed a hard-to-read story but you did a good job addressing a difficult topic. I also liked the hope at the end. I pray that if there is someone on FaithWriters who needs to hear this message of courage, they'll find their way to this story. Thanks for sharing!
06/01/09
This main character had the courage to fight her way to the light, something so many abuse victims struggle to find. This was powerfully told.
06/01/09
A story that needs to be told - powerfully written with hope at the end. Excellent.
06/02/09
Heartbreaking!

I caught a 'like' that should be an 'as' in an early sentence, and a brief tense shift.

You really brought us into this young girl's horror, and yet definitely gave us the light of hope at the end. Very, very good!