The Official Writing Challenge
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05/22/09
This is beautiful...your descriptions pulled me right into the story. I was trying to figure out if he was going to die and first found out in the end the truth you were sharing. If only we could change history, but we have this moment right now to work with, don't we?
I love old photos and could "see" the mc transported to that time. Though sad, the tenderness was touching and perfect.
05/22/09
Oh, the blessed innocence of childhood until some thoughtless or cruel person destroys it! It makes me angry what damage words can do! Your descriptions helped me really visualize that day and feel for for the MC and Stevie.

This part so authentically captured the child and the topic for me: "That summer, I measured time by the shadow cast by a fir tree in our yard. I could tell you almost to the exact hour what time it was during the day by where the tree’s shadow fell on the ground.

And, when I didn’t want the day to end, I would pound small stakes into the ground to try to hold the shadows from moving forward. But time would not be stayed. Like a river, the shadows would flow over my stakes."

Excellent writing! :)
05/23/09
A lyrical and emotional look at the loss of innocence. I had a Steve in my life when I was a child, and he had the same sort of zest for life in spite of the taunts and cruelty.

You write beautifully, and there are lovely images here throughout. The last sentence though needed something more--as a fragment, it doesn't end as powerfully as I would have hoped. Is there a missing word or words?
Lovely piece! Very moving and touching! I love the flow of your story. I wanted the little friend to not ever have to face the ridicule of a cruel society that offers criticism. Unfortuanately, like everything innocence fades and things are never the same. But thank God He never criticizes but offers His acceptance and love and looks at us all with equal acceptance and wonder. We are awesomely and wonderously made! Praise the Lord. Thank you for writing this hon!:0)
Your outstanding story is the kind that lingers in my heart--to review the clear images and to mourn the loss of innocence.
05/24/09
Wow ... this is beautiful. Wow ...
Very powerful. How easily innocence can be "killed" by cruel people. Nicely written.
Wow. Beautiful. Sad. Powerful.

And masterfully written!
Congratulations, Friend, you did it again!
06/01/09
Hi, Loren, sorry this is so late in congratulations...great, great story this week! A well deserved EC indeed (and I can think of a couple of your other stories that belong in the EC, at least in my book). I am a fan.