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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Before and After (05/14/09)

TITLE: The Big Loogie
By Sheri Gordon
05/19/09


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“All rise.”

We rose in unison as the men in flowing robes regally entered the room.

“Court is now in session. Prosecution, you may continue your questioning of the witness.”

Oh, boy…here we go again. I slowly made my way to the front of the court, head held high. I told these men everything I knew yesterday, but they insisted, with physical roughness, that I return to court today.

“Tell us again, sir, what happened to you yesterday.”

“As I already told you, I was sitting at my usual begging spot on the side of the road. I heard a group of men approaching from the west. They were talking about who had sinned, and I heard one of them say, ‘…this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.’”

From the corner of my eye, I observed two of the men in robes shaking their heads, accompanied by tsk, tsk.

“What happened next?” the head robe-man asked me.

At that moment, I decided to really mess with the heads of these stuffed-robe, pompous aristocrats.

“What happened next? Oh, I heard someone hocking a major loogie. I mean, I thought I was good, but this sound was like nothing I’d heard before.”

My parents were sitting in the galley, and I watched their heads drop with shame. But why should I care? After all, they threw me under the bus yesterday. When they were questioned, all they could say was, “We know he is our son, and we know he was born blind. But how he can see now, or who opened his eyes, we don’t know. Ask him. He is of age; he will speak for himself.”

Thanks for all the support, Mom and Dad.

The head-robe man cleared his throat,—or was trying to hock a loogie, I’m not sure which—pounded his gavel, and nodded for me to continue.

“Next thing I knew, I had this gross gunk all over my eyes. I mean, who did this guy think he was, anyway? Lots of people spit on me because I was blind, but no one ever put disgusting loogie-mud on my eyes before.”

Yep, I was getting just the reaction I wanted from the robe-men. They obviously didn’t like yesterday’s version of my story, so I thought I’d spice it up a little…make things more exciting.

“Then he told me to go to the Pool of Siloam and wash.”

“So what did you do?” head robe-man asked.

“I went and washed.” I couldn’t help giving these men the ‘duh’ eye-roll.

“Why would you do what this strange man told you to do? The man who just put, um…loogie-mud…on your eyes?”

“For one, I wanted that junk off of my eyes. And for two…I don’t know. Something about him told me to listen to him.”

“And who was this man?” How many times were they going to ask me this same question? Maybe I should have made up a totally different name. Maybe I should have told them it was Moses himself…that would have really shaken them up. But I couldn’t. I had to give credit where credit was due.

“They tell me his name is Jesus.” I could have predicted what came next…major gasps from all corners of the chambers.

“Blasphemy. Give glory to God, boy…the man you speak of is a sinner. Tell us, how did he do this, this, this, supposed miracle?” Spittle went flying from robe-man’s mouth as his face turned the color of a pomegranate.

I was tiring of this charade. “Haven’t you heard what I’ve been saying? I don’t know anything about the man, or how he did what he did. All I know is, I was blind before, but after he put mud on my eyes, I could see. The man is obviously not a sinner because God doesn’t listen to sinners, and only God could make a blind man see. It’s really as simple as that.”

Well, I finally got the desired result…they threw me out of court—thank goodness. Now I’m free to meander down the road and enjoy the scenery I have missed my entire life.

“Excuse me, son.” I turned to see the man, Jesus, talking to me. “Do you believe in the Son of Man?”

“Where is he? I want to believe.”

“He is standing in front of you, son…the man who opened your eyes.”

I fell at his feet and worshipped my savior.


**************************************************************************************

Based on the Biblical account from John 9:1-38, with great poetic license.



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This article has been read 697 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Loren T. Lowery05/21/09
Not only did I really like the re-telling of this story, but also the simple and perfect reasoning your MC gave:
"The man is obviously not a sinner because God doesn’t listen to sinners, and only God could make a blind man see. It’s really as simple as that."
Nice job!
Emily Gibson05/22/09
Only a talented Faithwriter could characterize this story as Jesus healing with a Loogie! exceptionally well told and entertaining.
Charla Diehl 05/23/09
You did an excellent job of taking a Bible story and putting it in today's converational style. Loved the MC's voice throughout this piece. Right on topic with this one--hope to see this with a top ranking.
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/23/09
This is truly a unique retelling, creatively done.
Patricia Herchenroether05/23/09
An interesting way of telling this story-very creative.
Debbie Roome 05/23/09
A familiar story in modern day language. Well done.
Joanne Sher 05/24/09
Creative, and fun characterization. SUPER title.
Sharon Kane05/25/09
Well I didn't know what a loogie was, but it became pretty obvious! I love this genre of retelling Bible tales and making them come alive, and this was a good one.
Carole Robishaw 05/27/09
Very good, but you did a little time travel

"they threw me under the bus yesterday"

maybe should it have read they threw me to the lions, or under a wagon, or...?

But I liked it nevertheless. A different view of a story we all know.
LauraLee Shaw05/28/09
Incredible!!! Congratulations on your EC!!!!
Loren T. Lowery05/28/09
Kudos on your EC placement. This was such a good piece of writing!
Sonya Leigh06/01/09
Hi, Sheri, wow, I'm so far behind in these congrats...but I wanted to take the time anyway...LOVED your story this week! Blessings from your fan and friend...Sonya
Chely Roach06/07/09
This was outstanding! Loved every word. Congrats!