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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Before and After (05/14/09)

TITLE: With Eyes Wide Open
By Christine Dunn
05/18/09


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A
Word
Spoken in
The darkness,
Warm light soaking
The formless surface.

A
Hand
Scooping
Up waters,
Separating seas,
Placing buds on trees.

A
Bird
shaded
With vibrant,
Colored feathers
Resting on a cheetah’s back.

A
Breath
Into man’s
Lifeless nostrils,
A sidekick fashioned
To tend creation, to cherish.

A
Walk
With the
Lord through
The garden, admiring
The wonderful work of his hands.



A sidling serpent whispers,
A curious ear listens,
An enticed eye gazes,
A selfish hand stretches,
A watering mouth gnaws,
A foolish soul mate shares.

Their eyes are opened.



A string of leaves sewn up,
To cover naked shame.
A tree to hide
Behind from
The great
I am.

An accusing finger points
Towards his wife.
A livid retort
Can't cloak
The truth
From
God.

A sorrowful snake slides
Out on his dusty belly
Into nettles, weeds
Wilting flora
And prickly
Thorns.


An aching muscle, days
After picking fruit
Now develops.
A lethargic
Misery
Sets
In.

A disappointed, far away
Tone resounds in the
Almighty’s voice,
Their intimate
Bond now
Broken.

Cherubim with flaming swords
Separate paradise from
The impure, and
Outside of the
Garden, Adam
Weeps.



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This article has been read 672 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Genia Gilbert05/22/09
Yes, before and after SIN! What a difference! Well written, no words wasted, yet point well well made!
Genia Gilbert05/22/09
Forgot to say, I'm so glad God had a remedy in His Son!
Emily Gibson05/23/09
very creative and unique formatting. well done!
Patricia Herchenroether05/26/09
Wow! This is absolutely great! High marks from me, for presentation, writing, and topic conformation.
Sharon Kane05/26/09
Wow! A powerful presentation of the wonder of life in the garden, and the desolation that followed the Fall. And so, so cleverly arranged on the page. This was not thrown together in a couple of hours! Very well done.
Joy Faire Stewart05/26/09
Each time I read the poem, I gleamed more from the message and presentation. Fabulous!
Glynis Becker 05/28/09
The words and the pictures tell this sad story so beautifully. What a well-deserved win! Congratulations!!
Rachel Rudd05/28/09
Wow! a familiar story told in an unfamiliar way written in a beautiful form. So extremely well done. Definitely a well deserved win!
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/28/09
Really, really, really well written! Congratulations on placing!
Loren T. Lowery05/28/09
Without even reading, this gives a visual interpretation of your message. But reading it makes even better. Congratulations on your EC!
Rick Higginson 05/28/09
Very creative style and enjoyable prose. Congratulations on a well-deserved win!
Lollie Hofer 05/28/09
Congratulations on your well-deserved EC. The words flowed beautifully and fit your graphics extremely well.
Charla Diehl 05/28/09
Right on for the topic. Congrats on your EC win. Powerfully written--so much in so few words. GREAT!
Dolores Stohler06/01/09
Exquisite. I believe you have written the perfect poem. Congratulations on your win!
Sonya Leigh06/01/09
Sorry this is so late! Congratulations on your terrific placement this week!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 09/29/12
I saw on the message boards that you have returned to FW so I thought I'd check out some of your work. This piece gives me goosebumps. I don't remember learning this type of poetry when I was in school but my daughter had an assignment and I fell in love with the technique and have tried it a few times but have never managed to pull it off as expertly as you have! It gave me goosebumps. How wonderful that something you wrote over three years ago can still be blessing people today.