The Official Writing Challenge
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05/21/09
A really creative idea. I love how you described Jimmy's transformation. I found some of the longer lines a little difficult to read. They could perhaps be broken up a little, but perhaps it's just me! A very good lesson - well done!
05/23/09
I like the message here and how Jimmy became a changed man. I feel this would have read better in a story format. As a poem the flow was uneven and the rhyming was hit and miss. Not that a poem has to rhyme at all, but when you start it that way it should carry through. That's just my opinion though.
I don't know whether to call this prose or poetry! hehe But the story idea itself was a great one and I liked the repetitive paragraph, as well as the end.
This needs a steel guitar accompaniment. Creative use of the topic. Nicely done.
I agree with Betty. I can hear someone like the late Johnny Cash singing this as a spoken ballad and then sing the "Chorus" about bullies growing up someday. Good job!
05/27/09
Great story line, super characterization.

The meter tripped me up here and there--I wonder if this would make a better prose story than poem?

Wonderful message of forgiveness, touchingly written.
05/27/09
Good message about an issue that is a "memory" for so many all thier lives. I, too, think the story would work better in story format. I enjoyed reading it.

Mona
05/27/09
Wow! This was such a good story, and in poetry form! I loved it all. The format, the ryhme, the rhythm, the message! Thank you for sharing!
This is really good. I love how it flowed and it has a great message.