Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Before and After (05/14/09)

TITLE: The Ritual
By dub W
05/14/09


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Hair dryers buzz and the TV drones on
Nobody is watching either of course.
The cat needs to be fed and the dog is sleeping
Breakfast sits chilling on the oaken table.

A crisis breaks out when the shoes need polish
Safety pins will hold up new pants.
Somebody borrowed sisterís pink sweater
Father canít find the sports section either.

The phone is ringing weíre headed for the car
Mama insists that it might be grandma.
Everyone is belted and the waiting begins
Mama reports it was just a solicitor.

Brotherís Bible was left on the dining table
Round trips are common for our family.
The word is recovered and all are pleased
The same every Sunday before church.

Pastor delivers a sleepy-time message
Mama reports she felt the spirit move.
Sister thinks that the associate is cute
Father and brother are looking away.

The cars are backed up but everyone is quiet
Praise songs remembered from the early parts.
The restaurant is crowded but mama says wait
We find a bench and stare into space.

At last we are seated in a corner booth
Five of us crunched like sardines in a can
Everyone orders the same as every time
Un-sweet iced tea with lemon all around.

Papa issues the prayer all heads are bowed
The waitress pauses till he is through.
We eat and rejoice in each otherís company
Our ritual each Sunday after church.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 466 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Myrna Noyes05/22/09
You nicely conveyed a picture of how this family's Sunday mornings usually "play out" before and after church! I'm sure many people have similar scenarios at their homes and can really relate to your piece.
c clemons05/23/09
Interesting take on topic, I don't know if I would have put into verse though. Caused me to it read twice before I got any flow.
Patricia Herchenroether05/26/09
I can remember Sunday mornings like this, a ritual, without much meaning-didn't even realize it until after I accepted Christ later in life. I think that's what you are saying here? Shouldn't "The Word" be capitalized? ( maybe a personal pref) Actually, I liked it in a poetic form. Real nice entry, Dub.
Blessings,
Patty
Melinda Wells05/26/09
I think you have definately captured the average family's Sunday morning rituals, in this piece. And the format you used was certainly interesting as well. Thank you for sharing!
Sara Harricharan 05/27/09
LOL! I know I can certainly relate to this kind of "difference" between the days. I liked the lines with the pink sweater and father searching for the sports section. How very true!
Gerald Shuler 05/27/09
I agree that the poetic approach was very effective. It is also effective that you did not reveal who's POV it was other than one of the siblings. It was kind of like a shared sibling POV.
Bryan Ridenour05/27/09
A classic look at the life of many folks on Sunday. Nice feel to the poem. Well done.