Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Good and Bad (05/07/09)

TITLE: Uncertain Certainties
By Diana Dart
05/12/09


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Even their sprawling two-storey was not big enough. Brick walls held tight against the rising tension, but the windows and doors were about to pop. Heaven help any visitors. Behind an ornate front door the plastic image of the perfect family was melted into an ugly mess and the sight was sure to shock the neighbours.

Her back stiffened against the firm mattress, but she lay still. Sprawled out and eyes wide, she stared at the ceiling fan above her. Its gentle draft played through her hair, uncovering a few stray strands of grey amidst the highlights. Coolness kissed her skin – her cold, untouched skin. Rachel muttered and sighed.

Another day had passed of tip-toeing carefully across the minefield. At any moment an explosion could rip through the family - with deadly consequences. Pain didn’t fade with familiarity.

Her thoughts whirled with the rhythm of the fan. Around and around the situation - each problem chasing the next. What to say? What to do? Why me? Why now?

She flirted with the advice her friends had fed her.

“Kick him out. You’re the victim here.”

“You deserve to find someone who will make you happy. Dave won’t, but someone else will.”

“Divorce is the path to your freedom.”

Their counsel massaged her conscience. Rachel may not have been the perfect wife, but who would blame her? Dave had obviously grown bored years ago and she had all but forgotten what romance felt like. He doesn’t love me and I’m so tired of begging for it. Husbands are supposed to love their wives without being asked.

She thought of her pastor and the counseling sessions. Hours of emotional dodgeball – each throwing blame at the other. Pastor Bill was a well-intentioned man, but he just couldn’t get through to them, even using the Bible. What does God’s word say to each of you? Now listen to each other. And the game would begin again. “She doesn’t…” “He never…” “I will if she will…”

But failure there had left only one viable option. And both had baulked.

Has it gotten that bad? The fan continued its ever-steady rotation. Her left ring finger burned with emptiness. How could something start so good and end so bad?

Divorce is ugly, painful, stormy. But afterwards, maybe life can be clear again. I won’t be so angry all of the time. The fighting will stop. The hurt will fade.


In her mind’s eye she saw the well-worn pages of Pastor Bill’s Bible. His moustache shook with finality as he reminded them of God’s firm position on divorce. But if it brings the good out in both of us, how could it be bad? The chase never ended.

***

Turning over with a grumble, his eyes squeezed tighter. Lately most nights were the same – scrunched in a twin bed and wrapped with an old wool blanket, he willed sleep to come. Eventually his body would cooperate and slip into oblivion, but the battle raged every time.

Unsettled quietness crowded the basement, but the voices of his memory elbowed in.

Rachel telling him what he should do. Then what he shouldn’t do. The kids crying after another loud clash. Implied and even explicit put-downs crawled from his wife’s mouth. Even the silence that greeted his most strenuous efforts screamed in his thoughts.

How can I ever fix this marriage? I’ve made it into a disaster. Another emotional bruise spread. Dave muttered and sighed. Maybe things would be better if I left. Would the kids have a good life? Would they think I’m a bad father? Undoubtedly their mother felt that way already.

His thoughts dwelled a moment on Pastor Bill. Their session covering submission had been a joke, a lost cause. Rachel hadn’t even looked at him, but Dave would bet that her eyes screamed defiance. Submission took trust. Leadership took confidence. Both were starkly lacking in their marriage.

Was I that bad to her? I tried, but never quite hit the mark. Can’t remember if I ever made her really happy.

His eyes tried to flutter open and he pulled the blanket tighter. Maybe divorce is not so bad in every case. God has to understand that I’m ready to give up.

***

The pastor’s eyes were shut gently and his moustache bounced with unspoken words. The intensity of his prayer never wavered with daily repetition. He would lift their names up to the Heavenly Father in faith and with perseverance.

And the Lord would work.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 555 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Genia Gilbert05/16/09
This has a great message! Having had two kids go through divorce, I know the pain that comes to all those involved. Not judging at all, but it's so worth it if couples can get through the good and bad and stay a family!
Rachel Burkum05/20/09
I could feel the emotion of both characters... the pain, and the deeper desire to work things out, even if they thought it was impossible. I hope they did. Well written.
Jan Ackerson 05/20/09
Good job, especially with the little details--the pastor's mustache, the blanket, that sort of thing.

A few misspelled words: storey/story and baulked/balked come to mind.

I love your title with its contradictions. Very good.
Mona Purvis05/20/09
Always a difficult subject and rarely only one at fault. Your story showed that dilemma...each blames the other. Good job.
Mona
Seema Bagai 05/20/09
Well-written with great details and emotion.
Colin Swann05/20/09
This piece really interested me and I enjoyed it thoroughly. My wife and I run a marriage course and have seen marriages saved from the brink of divorce. Our very good friends are one such couple.
If anyone in here is struggling in their marriage -go through a good marriage course. Thanks for sharing such a good piece.

Colin
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/20/09
This emotionally tense story is excellently written.
Catrina Bradley 05/20/09
There are so many things I like about this piece, beginning with the opening paragraph. I love the description of the house about to burst with the tension, the wife's thoughts whirling around with the fan, the thoughts of both the wife and the husband - so true-to-life. Great ending. Excellent writing.
Patricia Herchenroether05/20/09
Your opening paragraph really told so much in so few words and your message really came across well. Loved the end too.
Bryan Ridenour05/21/09
Powerfully written and emotionally charged. Congrats on your place! Nicely done!