The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/15/09
Hmmm...lots of things to think about here. I'll have to read it a couple more times and ponder what it is you're saying. Some of it can be controversial...for example, I believe in absolutes where you're probably more liberal. Yet, it never hurts to cause others to think more deeply about what they believe.
05/17/09
What a great opening. I'm sure a lot of us are into chocolate and could appreciate the smooth way that you moved on to sin while leaving some of us feeling decidedly peckish and wondering if there's any left of that bar in the fridge.
You raised a lot of interesting points in a very short period of time. I suspect that your story would have more 'bite' to it, (excuse the pun) if you can 'slimmed' down the number of examples and used them to develop your theme more fully. Bless you for an interesting and provocative read